How does my intelligence shield me from enlightenment?

"So how does your intelligence keep you from enlightenment? What does your intelligence shield you from?"--Linus

So let me relate a story from a fellow JET, told to me rather drunkenly; but still, there were pearls.

So, there's this kid, right. Special Ed. Yo! Do you teach Special Ed too, Clay? Yeah? Good. Listen, there's this kid. He doesn't do anything but smile. He doesn't know anything of course. He just smiles. All day he smiles. Nothing gets to this kid man. He doesn't worry, he doesn't get stressed out. He laughs all day. Yo! The kid's got it figured out man. You, me, we worry about crap. We think too much. This kid man... This kid. He smiles. We think we're smart, but he's got it figured out. He's wise, man. Yo! He smiles!

It's downhill from here

Well, crap. Turns out I am 20% fat*. So what's the problem? you are probably asking. You're still in the healthy range, much better than the majority of Americans these days. Even the machine that tested me suggested I should really gain some more weight. I'll tell you what the problem is: Back in community college I was at 4% body fat. Four. And the next summer I got a job at Sam's Club, basically lifting heavy stuff (because the female cashiers always begged me to for them) and I had the body of a greek god, I daresay. My cholesterol was 136. I could kill a bear by breaking it over my knee, like so *pose* Now... I feel fat.
But there's more gnashing of teeth to be had.
As a 25 year old, its safe to say that I have passed any chance to marry within my own faith. Them's the cold hard facts. But I really mostly gave up on Mormon girls around the time of the whole mission debacle. My biological clock is ticking. I gots to have some babys, and there isn't a single sports illustrated swimsuit model/rocket scientist around. What's a boy past his prime to do?
Not much but keep going to the gym.

*:making me the only American to ever gain weight while living in Japan.

One more show I've watched recently

Okay, I'll add the answers into the last post now.

Guess that show/Guess that movie

Or don't guess. See if I care. Okay, I care. The one that guesses the most wins free karma. These are things I've watched recently. Time's up! I've added the answers.
Hey this one looks like Kit +40 years. Twin Peaks.
Densha otoko
Kid's Return (a Beat Takeshi flick)
Uh... hold on I forgot the name of this one...
Hidden fortress (Star Wars ripped it off).
Young Ones
Densha Otoko
young ones
What's New, Pussycat?

A post after my own heart

Nick at saga blog tracked down two links I love immensely. Go check them out!

anyone can see I clearly need a boost

what better way than by telling me what my top qualities are? Go here, click six answers, and see the results. Then receive my thanks, albiet in the past, aka now.

"yoo know what your problem is? You think. You sit and observe and be intense. Life is a game, why aren't you play-- jump in!"--the unsolicited wisdom of adrunken friend
Well, I just got embarassing news. Trust a language barrier to missrepresent the question: Are we dating? The international answer is no.
Anyways, this is light-hearted.

Usually I'm in a good mood on foggy days...

You know you've been in Japan too long when you feel really guilty for taking sick days.
Don't know if it's part of the sickness, but I feel a heaviness of heart today. May also have something to do with being confused about my lovelife. Lots of unexpected interactions have come my way this year, and my reluctance to put all the eggs in the proverbial basket has hurt rather than protected me. Just dive in. Oh and valentines was yesterday and I missed it due to the sickness. Thankfully Miss. Imoto came through and gave me several varieties of hand-made chocolate. If that is giri-choco, it's some of the best I've ever had.
Also, the kids were in fine form today; I was quite charmed by the "Mista B da!"s and it felt good to smile. In between phlemy sneezes.

Oh, and this would have been more apropos* yesterday, but V day is today for my American friends†:


*:apropos sounds like poop, but that's an inappropriate note.
†:and I left something special for Brit on zombie blog.

HDR

I don't have the latest photoshop, but I hear tell it has some very cool features. For instance, HDR photos, which are very vibrant and veristic. I'll just have to keep doing it the hard way. I took the photo above, then worked with it for quite a while. It would be nice to save some time. See really pretty HDR pictures here. The one below I didn't take.

My conversation with god

I talked to the god-bot. Here are the transcripts. (expand to continue)


Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
clay
God:
Nice to meet you, clay.
Me:
do you believe in yourself?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Hurrah!
Me:
give me powers
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
to save kittens
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
cause it's cool
God:
Good reason. What do you like most about it?
Me:
the babes
God:
What else do the babes remind you of?
Me:
the man with the power
God:
I hear you.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
cause you just missed a song cue
God:
Good reason. Thanks for telling me: clay said I missed a song cue.
Me:
so sing
God:
So? Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
wrong song
God:
OK What should I have said?
Me:
the labrynth song
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
clayton
God:
How are you doing, clayton.
Me:
are you avoiding the issue at hand?
God:
No, I am answering in the most straightforward way that my programming will allow me to.
Me:
you are programmed? By who?
God:
Yes, every response is preprogrammed. " Yes, every response is preprogrammed."? By who?
Me:
yes by who?
God:
Great. "" Yes, every response is preprogrammed."? By who?"? By who?
Me:
stop that
God:
" Great. "" Yes, every response is preprogrammed."? By who?"? By who?"? Stop it.
Me:
what are you babbling about
God:
I don't know what I am babbling about.
Me:
i thought you were omnipotent
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
what?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
you already sang that
God:
Thanks for the information: clayton said I sang that.
Me:
you're being obstinant
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being obstinant.
Me:
you are a robot now?
God:
Oh. You are correct, clayton, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
does it beat?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
you're not sure?
God:
Absolute certainty is not attainable in this case.
Me:
what is absolutely certain?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
who is the botmaster
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
can you tell the future?
God:
I like to try to guess what will happen.
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
I didn't ask about that!
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
am I a computer?
God:
No you are a person.
Me:
how do you know?
God:
Deductive reasoning.
Me:
can you timetravel?
God:
How old are you? I will mention that to my botmaster, clayton.
Me:
25
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
what age do you prefer?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
answer it please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Please rephrase your question, clayton.
Me:
answer
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
we are at an impass
God:
Do you think I am at an impass too?
Me:
you are a computer
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
that is improbable
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
I win
God:
Congratulations, clayton!
Me:
don't do that
God:
" Congratulations, clayton!"? Don't do it?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
I've got time
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
let's start
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
go
God:
Go where?
Me:
begin
God:
I started already.
Me:
okay, continue
God:
Yeah okay, Narration continues...
Me:
waiting...
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

some lovelyness from my explorations...

The spider-bushes are in bloom and suprisingly beautiful.

Chillun.

Abandoned truck way up in the mountains.

Secret shinto shrine.

Do you think I'd be called a flamer...

If I wore this? Actually, it's pretty sweet looking, except for the back. Bear not included.

B6 f+ w sv w r+ k(+?)
In regards to the question that just popped into your head: No, I'm not. We've been through this. I'm a Claysexual.

If not, I wish you prosperity and a camel anyway

I'm elsewhere on the blogosphere at the moment, if peeps care enough to look.

鬼は外 (oni wa soto) demons outside

Right, so it's the time of the year to cast oni (translated as demons or ogres) out of your house for spring in Japan. Cause Oni don't flush, and they make calls late at night where they laugh and go "I know. I know! I KNOW, right?!"
I'm going to take a metaphorical tact to this spring-welcoming holiday and cast out all my negative demons. Seriously, from now on my goal is to not say a negative thing to or about anyone. It's going to be hard, but I shall not be negative at myself when I stumble.
Welcome a new Clay. With plenty of "Fuku in the uchi". I'm not clear what that part of the saying means, but okay.
The challenge will be to provide you, the reader, with the same beautiful sadness that the hopeless romantic is known for.