Heard of spamusement yet? He takes junk mail and makes comics out of the inane titles.
I once mused that spam mail can be the new DaDaist poetry.

drove to Paddington; and started off; having obeyed to the letter the Suddenly;
without any preliminary sound in the midst of the utter could towards me Dans l
impossibilite de me former une opinion

anyways, here's a couple of them.

let me address a cat 

the caption for this one: "We talked about this" 

and then Joseph turned to Mary and said "what's that smell?"

As you look at nativity scenes this Christmas, see if you can spot a Caganer.

as I watched the happy crowd I thought...

People are fantastic.

sometimes my mind is blown

I just found out that the author of house of leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski, is brother to weird musical siren Poe. I've read Denielewski's book, but had no idea why Poe sang about things from the book until now. This is a very cool revelation to me. Here's her song with the same title as his book: House of leaves. The lyrics are actually a passage from his book.

"My father was a filmmaker," he says, "and my mother was an actress. When you live in a vaudeville family, you know the attention is just a fantasy." Born a year apart and described by Mark as "Irish twins who parented each other," he and his sister, he says, have worked at keeping close during their thirties. They have also, Danielewski admits, "divided up the labor" of exploring the underworld of family dynamics. Poe’s Haunted is about their late father and includes his recorded voice. The Whalestoe Letters, on the other hand, seems to give voice to a powerfully influential mother. "Like mad women in attics, she was confined to the appendix in House of Leaves," Danielewski says, referring to Whalestoe’s female character.

Somebody shut that kid up

Okay, I seem to have a bit of de Vega's syndrome. For those of you not in the know, Lope Félix de Vega Carpia (1562-1635), known as Lope de Vega, published between 1,800 to 2,500 plays during his life, some 450 of which survive. Towards the end of his life, it was rumored that he wrote two plays a week.

The distance between you and me is measured in misunderstandings
-From The Artist's Lament, within The Book of Clay

Comic , money, and gummy bears

"Our social identity is a creation of other people's thoughts." -- Marcel Proust
Hey look at the leaving w/out saying anything shtick of mine this way: It's very Japanese ^_-

romantic? You decide. 

Feeling attractive today

Teacher: Everyone understand? You cool, Clay?
Me: Yeah, I'm cool.
Cute girl#1: Clay is always cool.
Cute girl#2: Yeah, he is!
Both cute girls in tandem: We love you, Clay!
Me: *blush*

Please note these are the first legal girls I've been hit on by in a while.
--
Did a cute little cartoon for Brittany's birthday, and I was gonna scan it so you all could see it, but I forgot. Anyways, head over to the blog links, click on Brit, and wish her a happy birthday.
She gave me so many hugs tonight cause of that picture :)
--
Life is good at the moment; but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Guess that girl part 1

is there anything sexier than a redhead with a cello?
Guess who this sci-fi star is. (if you're new to the blog, you should know we like people to guess in the comments, then I give them a prize).

Thanksreceiving

I taught my extended family unit how to play werewolves and puritans. Half of them understood free-form role playing. Mom, a mother after my own heart, acted the enthusiastic accuser each game, and the werewolves kept killing her off to keep her from getting them. Grandpa just kept trying to shoot us all with silver bullets.
Rules so you can play werewolves and puritans in your own home.
Otherwise, my only comment on thanksgiving concerns grandpa. He seems to think I'm a petulant ten year old again, and insists that I comb my hair for breakfast (??).
--
I met with Harry for the first time in about a year and he told me of Denver adventures (getting car jacked and the like), and introduced me to obscure bands, therefore making me cool once again (because we all know that if you know something someone else doesn't know, you are cooler than them). I will post MP3s of said music as I find it online. I can can back flip, I can flip backer than you.
--
The battle to gain the bulge continues. I seem to have gotten back up to 170lbs, depending on who's scale you use. I'm gonna have to bulk up more to face those highschoolers next semester.
--
Alright, I get it, people like to see themselves in comic form (see comments in last entry). That's why I'm announcing the Clay-will-draw you thang. I'll do a whole entry about it soon for those that are interested.
--
Dune the book is much better than the movie. 10 to the 24th times better. I've read through half the novel in three days. A David Lynch site has the movie script, and you can see how much crap he left out, just to make the movie make less sense. I also watched Eraserhead (by the same director) and was thouroughly dissapointed by the lack of anything more interesting than a horse-faced baby puppet. I like the song about heaven though.

an important revelation

If you are going to get married to a girl, actually make sure she has agreed to the idea. Get a verbal, very literal "yes, I will marry you." Then yell, "NO TAKE BACKS!" and run out of the room before she can say anything else.

Art Wok

Inspired by the aquisition of a new wok, I decided to go on an art walk, and photograph the art around the CWC campus. There were quite a few pieces. Enjoy the photo dump 

an ode to can openers, obviously 

Van Goe flowers 

good ol winslow homer 

canyon with a river 

birds made this found art 

dog vs cows 

near as I can tell, they are running from a grenade 

I'm just not seeing the vagina in this georgia o keefe picture 

I swear I made the exact same sculpture at LCCC 

one of my favorite finds 

who's that handsome guy in the reflection?

art

if anything, this experience has stirred up my desire to create. I want to paint again. Now I just need a canvass...

In the meantime, I will sketch out my ideas.

obsessive-compulsive

whenever my mentor teacher leaves the room, I quietly sneak around and start cleaning and organizing things. I have a problem.

mood swings

I keep going from elated to morose and back again.
What causes my meloncholy? Bills.

"Reading bringeth evil"

The odd saying in the title appears upon one of the buildings about campus. I have often wondered why in the world it's on a cornerstone at a university for.

Let it be known

That I caught that giant mofo of a boomerang. That's right. The three-footer.

my choice

pretty octopus for Brit 

A cthulhu pot I did in my elementary methods class 

smolder and burn

Many red devils ran from my heart
And out upon the page,
They were so tiny
The pen could mash them.
And many struggled in the ink.
It was strange
To write in this red muck
Of things from my heart.

-Stephen Crane

Wirble

From the very funny thing called Shakeskin.com Mark and Ben know what I mean by wirble.
----
"Once upon a time, memoirs were written by hoary chaps casting rheumy glances back towards their golden youth: no more."
--Erica Wagner, "Post-Post-Modern memoir"

Itenerate heart

"You're Clay; it's nice to finally get to see you."
Tonight felt in many ways like a blind date with B's old friend S. Not that it was too terribly date like; we danced at the masquerade and had some lemonade and herbal tea over a game of chess and talked of Greek civilization and relationships fleetingly. B had given me the impression that she would talk of things out of my ken, but I was pleased to find myself with no problems. Overall a nice night.

My other favorite writer called Neal

Neal Stevenson got interviewed by slashdot

DADA poetry in my spam mail

got this today:
joanne gilt buick endogenous fidget closeup whitcomb disquisition fatigue dampen
knuckleball dalzell pappy nicaragua smooch curio gummy roger graphite aitken
ceres eli andes dudley benight cholesterol jubilant sepal spayed prayerful
ashmen hostage quetzal electrician bullock lars dual determine circumvent
circumcise concern errol dialect pervasion cardinal hypnosis frontal duffel
exclaim exposure
anybody remember what the spam comic that 635 linked to was?

Guess that movie part 4

The fashion police are at the door! 

yeah, it's a weird one. Can you guess the movie based on the pictures? This may be the hardest challenge I've given yet to the readers

"What do you mean halitosis?!"

Breath

There is magic in just watching someone breathe;
Moreso in having them lay next to you,
and feeling their undulant ribcage rising and lowering ever so slowly.

You think you know

You think you know some people relatively well, then you come to find out they all sit in a dark room and smoke pipes each Sunday night. Who the hell smokes a pipe in this day and age?
----
I hope to pull out a bubble pipe, ala Eoin's plan, when I teach.
----
You think you know what your friends' parents look like, but they are always different from their photos.
----
Chrysanthemums make a good tea (maybe cause the only other ingredient is crystallized honey)
----
I wanna dance too...

hey baby, wake up from your asleep

Sleep is important if you don't want to spend all day with weird songs stuck in your head and if you want to successfully talk to the girl, in "power pants" that are oh-so-sexy, that you happen to be making a peice of pottery for charity with and your mind is stumbling over simple words but she is laughing alot and man is it a dorky laugh how cute.
Sleep also helps prevent run-on sentences.

guess that song part 11

go here. watch the very random flash, and name the song that dad plays on the guitar at the end. It's easier to figure out than you think.

Sorry I'm late; I had to tame this wild stallion for your guys' honeymoon

Napolean dynamite. Finally saw it. Was quite up my alley, having grown up around that area.
song of choice from the movie: canned heat by Jamaraquoi
If you don't recognize the title to this entry, you didn't stay through the credits for the extra scene.
Did you know that Napolean's love interest was the girl in corina corina and waterworld?

security

Does anyone have a coat that makes them feel tough?

Bingo!

I can find myself and most of my friends on this. As usual, click to enlarge to a legible size.

songs, with tribute to grandpa

Dearly departed grandpa had a record. I was suprised by how much I like the old gospel music he did. Here is one of the songs he sang in on the record. I may or may not have my ability to parrot everything I hear because of Grandpa's genes. He was a mathmatician too.
At Walrus Ice Cream, Rachel suddenly burst out with this much to my elation.
I found van morrison's moondance, which is a song that mysteriously, not one of my friends seems to know.
My sweet lord, by george harrison
Five blind alabama boys-freedom road
My life is a dark dark pit of dark dark darkness: This is for Kit.

Picture dump from my week in the middle of Wyoming

I used the moleskin sketchbook Ben gave me and drew this, while bored, in my motel room. It's me, but if you are wondering where my legendary chin went, there is some foreshortening involved. I wasn't sure if that was obvious enough. Click to do it justice and enlarge. More pics in the next post (archive links are above)...

Two stray dogs decided that I was their master when I was staying at a motel. 

the mountains looked beautiful as I drove back to home. I was free for a little while again 

A moment of humor that saddened me

Mentor teacher: "So, maybe you'd like to go out with the highschool tomorrow on a field trip. They'll be painting in the valley."
Me: "Al-fresco?*"
Mentor teacher: "No, just outside."

*: For those of you that don't know why I chuckled to myself, I have this link.

are you a dynamic character?

In literature, dynamic characters are defined as those that change.

Are you dynamic or static?
What wisdom have you gained, and how have you increased your capacity to love?
----
On Hearing Jun the Buddhist Monk from Shu Play his Lute

The monk from Shu with his green silk lute-case,
Walking west down Omei Mountain,
Has brought me by one touch of the strings
The breath of pines in a thousand valleys.
I hear him in the cleansing brook,
I hear him in the icy bells;
And I feel no change though the mountain darken
And cloudy autumn heaps the sky.
-- The ancient poet Li Bai

Are you wearing sparkle-lipstick?

Finally saw Shrek 2. Was startled to see that prince Charming looks like me...

the resemblance is uncanny. Look at the chins, lips, and noses! Even similar stubble and our eyes are the same color (hard to tell from the photos, I know).
You may all address me as price charming now.
Oh and before you even finish that thought, let me beat you to it: I have way too big an ego.
I'm gonna have to work on the hair.

guess that poem part 3

"I'm no good at poetry. Rather, I'm good at doing prose that sounds like poetry" --Me, to B

Guess this poem's title and author

The small world of the car
Plunges through the deep fields of the night,
On the road from Willmar to Milan.
This solitude covered with iron
Moves through the fields of night
Penetrated by the noise of crickets.

Photo dump of me in the shirt Julia gave me

I recommend click-zooming on these.

Wow I look cute in an effeminate way here. This one looks like a picture you would see on the wall of a hair salon in the 80s