Vlog from America

I am alive. See?

A lot of the things we love are stupid

People seem to think it's bad to call a spade a spade, but I'm gonna do just that here. A mini-rant, if you will; though I never write much.
So here's the deal. Star Wars. Doctor Who. The Lord of the Rings. LOST. Star Trek. The Matrix. Heroes. Comic books. My vlogs. All stupid. Really, really stupid. Always have been. Even the original trilogy of Star Wars; it's just as dumb as the new trilogy. Incredibly stupid, all of them; littered with bad science, horrible physics, plot holes, one-dimensional characters, and insults to our intelligence.
However, these things all have something in common: they are terribly entertaining. Just as we have suspension of disbelief, we also have suspension of inanity. It's important to remember this the next time you are tempted to get into a stupid argument about these stupid forms of entertainment. It's entertainment, not a dogma. Enjoy.

I am hot (video)

This is a response vid. I am sure you can figure how to find what I am responding to.
Edit:Uploaded again due to youtube cock-ups.
second edit:If I do say so myself, this is funny stuff. I have never laughed so much at the person that is apparently me.

Japan makes you an ego-maniac

Why?

Because you are always talking about yourself, whether you want to or not. Half the words in my electronic dictionary's save file are words I want to use to elucidate on myself. Today, I realized I want to look up "self-styled" to describe my cooking. Then I realized I had a blog entry on my hands.

Because you are a celebrity. Just for being the only non-Asian in town. It doesn't help matters when you do actually appear on tv.

Because they think everything you do and say is cool.

Because they give you gifts for no reason.

Because they all murmur about you wherever you go.

Because you are told you are good at everything.

Because everyone points out how big your body is.

Because they often suggest I marry their daughters.
So... when I visit America, please forgive me if I seem like I think I am strangely interesting. Over here, I am strangely interesting.
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Anyhoo, ready for some bad Japanese? This month's subject is Onsens.
僕は何回も温泉にいたことがある。僕の意見で温泉がちょっとつまらない。なぜならば温泉がまるで大きなお風呂みたい。その上、値段が高いなあ。ですが、時々楽しい感じや文化ことを経験することができる。温泉が日本の文化の典型的な例ということは否定できん。しかし僕の古里にも温泉が多い。もちろん、日本の温泉文化とワイオミングのはかなり違う。

Long day

I spent most of the day translating Engrish and Spanglish. And talking about oranges and mikans and other citruses. I now know how ignorant I have been about such things. And I know the orange economy of Brazil, Florida, and a small town in Spain; which varieties are good mutations; and why pollination can be bad. Oy.
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Oh yeah, I forgot, Spaniards can be suprisingly bad at singing La Bamba.
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Very funny "Spanish" that I can now understand due to the circumstances of the last vlog.

I learn Spanish in 10 mins (vlog)

Oh noes I forgot my signature intro bar in this vid.

My really bad Japanese Essay

You will laugh if you can understand Japanese. I was going for humor, but I think you'll be laughing at the mistakes. Anyways, they gave me a perfect score for it when I sent it to the test people, which means the test people don't read these things (edit, I corrected the Japanese on oreore scams so you know what I am saying. Otherwise, as it was).
日本は安全か危ないかという疑問をときどき抱くけど、答えには確信が持てない、でも日本は僕の国より安全かもしれない。僕の国はアメリカだ。日本にはアメリカ人が日本人から特別待遇を受けることがよく起こると思う。さらに僕のようにアメリカ人はでかいし、だれも迷惑なことしない。つまり、アメリカ人にとって、日本がかなり安全そうだ。けれどもちろんヤクザや右翼団体がちょっと怖いけど大したことじゃないと思う。日本人にとって一番盗難がオレオレ詐欺とかほかの詐欺と思うでも、気を付けてとしたら、大丈夫。
さて、アメリカには大きな都市に抱える犯罪が多くて、いろいろだから僕の国はかなり安全じゃないと思う。

Am I the only person on Earth that still likes LOST? (vid--not a spoiler)

How awesome was ep 12's ending? You with me here? Edit: Oh I forgot to mention, the podcast is my favorite thing about the show. Those creator guys are hilarious.

My town and wikifying it (video)

So the state of wikipedia articles on places in Saga-ken is very sad. I finally decided to edit my town's entry, since I know a little bit, what with living here. Now the English page on wiki is longer than the Japanese wiki's. That's not really suprising; Japanese wikipedia is painfully dry. You can still be a good writer while having a neutral and academic point of view in English, but Japanese seems to lack that ability, if wiki is any indication.
So, is your town's wiki looking good? Get to work, be proud of where you live! When I started looking, I found tons of info (via sources like three giant books and diagrams of secret-Christian graves), especially about a guy I mentioned way back (Takeno Shintaro), the Gatalympics, and festivals. My next wiki projects: Saga-ben, Saga International Balloon Fiesta, and Hadake (naked!) Matsuris.
But can you help me with the page a bit? This is a community thing after all. Go look, and correct any mistake you see. I am a notrious misspeller. ;)

Also, how about this? Can you translate this bad boy into an understandable term (I got the romaji covered)?: 流れ灌頂

Finally:

Why is the white man taking our picture?

You are a horrible mother.

I mean seriously, you never made anything like this for your kid's lunch. Did you? Case closed, lazy mother. You can see more here. [via]
(note, this is not addressed to my mum, saint that she is; it's address to you)

Morning Commute

Half the week I drive along a scenic highway, with sea on my left and mountains on my right, and the occassional land mass on my left as well, such as the abandonded hotel. Anyways, two things about my commute:
There is a man who jogs every morning. He wears shorts. And panty-hoes.
If I am late for work, I will be further delayed by a yellow plate*. Today's yellow plate decided to stop and turn on his blinker to indicate he would turn right. Then he pulled twenty feet ahead and stopped again. Then he decided his turn was in fact a kilometer down the road. The whole time he was slow, and the whole time I was yelling, "Common! What are you--The panty-hoes guy is going to beat me to work!"

*:Yellow plate: Smaller, cheaper, fuel-effecient cars. Also slower. They sport a yellow license plate.

What are your super powers? (movie)

When polite becomes impolite, my predictions for nihongo

(warning, you'll probably only get it if you study Japanese, but I did try to put lots of clarification in here)
So I've been noticing something. A lot of things that have polite forms in the Japanese language are actually quite rude, utilizing a kind of sarcasm. For instance, 貴様 (kisama, bastard) essentially means "precious-good-sir". I'm under the impression that that one was always rude, but lately other polite forms seem to be gaining sarcastic meanings. For instance, a couple of people told me today that an honorific like, for example, おありだ (oarida, polite form of aru in "koto ga aru") could be considered to be bitingly sarcastic in some situations.　　Then there are things like Onizuka's "Yoroshiku", which has furigana* suggesting every time he says it he thinks a sarcastic double meaning in his head (sorry forgot that how particular one goes).
Basically, my prediction is that within a generation, the kids that are nice enough to not conjugate everything along the e-dan (jyanei instead of jyanai, shinei instead of shinu, hidei instead of hidoi etc) like a yakuza, will still use keigo (polite language) with a sarcastic double meaning. The older generation will probably have no idea that every polite word in the language will by then be rude, and the younger generation will laugh to themselves.

*Is it still called furigana when they are kanji instead of kana or eiji?

Never posted this, right?

So I thought I would. Me in a kimono that kind of fits.
edit: Did you know that the sleeves act as deep pockets? I think I can see my iPod peeking out.

A little zen in the mountains [vlog]

Yeah I know, zen as a catch-all for Buddhism is lazy. Anyways, enjoy the vid.

The Japanese Tradition is now subtitled (videos)

All, except for the last video, Dogeza, which doesn't need em. Enjoy this playlist I made to collect them!

These are vids by comedy duo Rahmens.

Wasabi, battleships, and food-oneupsmanship (video blog)

Yes, I know. Starfish.

I teared up a little when I found this site.

First, the photo is from Bluemoon. But it's not her site, but rather the site she recommended, that I am weeping for joy upon finding. The Meat Guy. Meat. Cheese. Duck! In Japan! To my rural Saga-ken door!
I wanna cook a duck just like she did.

Ghostrider was kinda good. Honestly.

So I ended up accidentally watching Ghostrider via youtube. It worked for me. Why? Because it was funny. I never liked Nick Cage as an action star, so I pretty much haven't liked him ever since raising Arazona. But this movie took itself as seriously as a bad comicbook-based movie should, and was pretty fun. Ten reasons to watch.