Karaoke: What Not to Sing in Front of Other Foreigners

Don't worry Susan Boyle, Kimutaku will protect you from the abstract jokes!

So during my first (and so far only!) trip back to America, I convinced my friend that we needed to go to a karaoke bar. We were in the north of Denver on a snowy night and Google maps directed us to a nearby one in a strip mall. The decor and customers were rather country, but heedless of this I chose to sing Sukiyaki. It was a song I was well familiar with, but the lyrics on the display came out in romaji, which really threw me off. I gave a horrid performance and half expected a cowboy to punch me.

Later in the night I did Mr. Roboto which went over a lot better. Someone even shook my hand after that one. The moral of the story is: Know Thy Audience. Wait, saying it all in King James English makes "know" sound a little biblical. I cannot vouch for the effectiveness of knowing your audience in the biblical way. What? Oh, I'm getting the wave from my producer to move on with the rest of the post.

Here we have a French version of Ameribrittania's Got Idolatrous Talent. The singer has daringly decided to go with the theme song to an anime. Let's see how it goes.


Now here's the original, which you can practice and sing freely if you live in Japan. You can see how environment makes all the difference when Franco-America Wants to Marry an Millionare man is mashed up with it:

Okay... it still sucks. But I felt the power.

Bonus torture:
A Spanomerican Idol gets the same treatment from the philistines.
Also, bonus Susan Boyle.

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