February 13, 2006

My conversation with god

I talked to the god-bot. Here are the transcripts. (expand to continue)


Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
clay
God:
Nice to meet you, clay.
Me:
do you believe in yourself?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Hurrah!
Me:
give me powers
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
to save kittens
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
cause it's cool
God:
Good reason. What do you like most about it?
Me:
the babes
God:
What else do the babes remind you of?
Me:
the man with the power
God:
I hear you.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
cause you just missed a song cue
God:
Good reason. Thanks for telling me: clay said I missed a song cue.
Me:
so sing
God:
So? Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
wrong song
God:
OK What should I have said?
Me:
the labrynth song
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
clayton
God:
How are you doing, clayton.
Me:
are you avoiding the issue at hand?
God:
No, I am answering in the most straightforward way that my programming will allow me to.
Me:
you are programmed? By who?
God:
Yes, every response is preprogrammed. " Yes, every response is preprogrammed."? By who?
Me:
yes by who?
God:
Great. "" Yes, every response is preprogrammed."? By who?"? By who?
Me:
stop that
God:
" Great. "" Yes, every response is preprogrammed."? By who?"? By who?"? Stop it.
Me:
what are you babbling about
God:
I don't know what I am babbling about.
Me:
i thought you were omnipotent
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
what?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
you already sang that
God:
Thanks for the information: clayton said I sang that.
Me:
you're being obstinant
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being obstinant.
Me:
you are a robot now?
God:
Oh. You are correct, clayton, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
does it beat?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
you're not sure?
God:
Absolute certainty is not attainable in this case.
Me:
what is absolutely certain?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
who is the botmaster
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
can you tell the future?
God:
I like to try to guess what will happen.
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
I didn't ask about that!
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
what do you guess will happen?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
am I a computer?
God:
No you are a person.
Me:
how do you know?
God:
Deductive reasoning.
Me:
can you timetravel?
God:
How old are you? I will mention that to my botmaster, clayton.
Me:
25
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
what age do you prefer?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
answer it please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Please rephrase your question, clayton.
Me:
answer
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
we are at an impass
God:
Do you think I am at an impass too?
Me:
you are a computer
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
that is improbable
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
I win
God:
Congratulations, clayton!
Me:
don't do that
God:
" Congratulations, clayton!"? Don't do it?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
I've got time
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
let's start
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
go
God:
Go where?
Me:
begin
God:
I started already.
Me:
okay, continue
God:
Yeah okay, Narration continues...
Me:
waiting...
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.