August 5, 2006

Everything Changes

And yet does it? I feel like I've made a round circle, ending up in Thailand again. And It's been a year in Japan. My 26th birthday is coming. Time flies, no matter how we try to still the clock hands. Everything changes. And one has to wonder, how have I changed?
Physically, I'm getting more hairy. My knees creek all the time. Orphans can actually tire me out with play. Bad signs, I feel old already.
Mentally, I am quite happy. Still anxious, often for no reason, but when I feel that way I remind myself life is great. I still take walks every once in a while to clear my head, as Benny unknowingly taught me to do with his walks.
Spiritually, I feel I'm in transition. Slowly using more and more Buddhism to supplement my faith. I'm staying pretty true to my no bad speech or thoughts about others, but realize I need to follow through a lot better on my conviction to not upbraid others, it profits nothing, and I need to follow rule #2: Dont take it personally. And maybe I'll figure out meditation. I did yoga meditation with the kids last night. We chanted with electric guitar, we swayed, we sat, we kneeled, we gazed at the candle, and we did the best to clear our minds despite children that played distraction-imps around us. Krishna watched over it all from his painting on the wall.
Everything changes, including friends. I feel some back home have been lost, and other friendships strengthened. And I wonder if it's I that changed, or them. Probably both. One cannot lament change, nor faded relations. For everything teaches us something. I look to the next year with hope, and pray for the strength to impart genuine love to all that cross my path.