As the hopeless romantic, I have often thought I was quite comfortable being alone and brooding. But I think I have reached my limit. And I don't really have anything to brood about, except why I've been feeling sick and irritable lately. The answer came from a teacher that I have a small rivalry with (in the Japanese sense where your rival is your friend). Anyways, I mentioned to her that my throat hurts every day. No doubt that is mostly allergies, but she suggested stress, and a light went off in my head.
"But wait," I said. "I am a 暇人 (person with lots of free time)!"
She, being the good rival that she is, shot back with, "You're lonely." Then she walked off. I realized she is right. That I am tired of being the only foreigner in town and only seeing my girlfriend on weekends. That I am tired of 社交辞令 where Japanese people make friends with me for a night at the izakaya or wherever then lose interest in me because they have their busy lives to lead and I am Mr. Freetime. And it does stress me out.
I need friends my age, that I can see on more than just weekends. People that are free like me. I'll have to brood over what to do about all of this...