December 10, 2007

Conflict resolution

I stopped fighting around my junior high years. More than anything, I think it was because deep down I found it silly to settle things that way.
But I almost got in a fight last night. I was coming out of karaoke with a couple of Japanese girls that I am just getting to know when I saw three people. Touching my car. And what the-- bending my antenna?
I threw out a fairly tough "ホイ!何をしているんだ!" (elementary kids give one a lot of opportunity to say this when they start poking digits where digits don't belong). The culprit was a typical ヤンキー, with long blond matted hair and a beer mug (not can) in his hand. He dumbly looked at me, an angry foreigner out of nowhere twice his size. I pushed him firmly but fairly unconfrontationally and said, "Go away."
"ゴアワイ?" he replied.
I said "行け", but he kept up the dumb act. After a few rounds of me telling him to leave, I said, "曲がったやろう? and pointed at my antennae. At this point his friend jumped in and apologized as he bent it back into place.
After he did that I had decided this is not something I wanted to fight over, so I opened the passenger side for the ladies. The repentant friend said,"Ladies first かっこいよ! ごめんね!"
I mumbled a gruff もう大丈夫," and got in.
The guy that I was truly angry at played dumb to the end. As I got in, he was saying "ゴアワイ?ゴアワイ?"
But the interesting thing to me is my adrenaline never really rushed during or after the whole thing, though I was prepared for that beer mug to come at me any time. I apologized to the girls, but they didn't seem fazed. Overall, an interesting three-someish impromptu date.
--
In other fights, I recently had a heated discussion with a teacher about my lack of keigo. I realized afterwards that really, deep down, she seems to hate me. So I wrote a "lets be friends" type letter and left it in her shoe-box. She won't even look at me today. Maybe she feels guilty. Maybe she is infuriated by letters, but hey, I am shy. And we've established I don't use keigo when speaking.

3 comments:

  1. Well done, sir. On both counts.

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  2. I was only ever in one physical fight in the third grade.

    Verbal arguments, I've been in plenty of those. I have a problem with authority, especially when it tries to needlessly assert itself over me. I only give respect where I get respect, always have, always will. Age, experience, and a so-called "social position" don't mean anything to me if I'm not getting any respect in return.

    Don't get me wrong - I'm humble before people who deserve it. Like my grandfather, for instance. He deserves to be respected, though, because he goes out of his way to be respectful to others, including his grandson.

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  3. Thanks Deas

    Yeah, Alex, I gots the same attitude about it all; though I tend to respect old people a lot more. They just look so fragile ;)
    That and I like to sound funny, which doesn't always go over well what with me being a foreigner who they think does not know the rules well enough to bend them.

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