This is Not the Japanese I Signed on for

So I thought since the Daily Yomiuri offers feeds now I would try it out and try to read a newspaper article a day. But then I get to the headline.

Me: Oh geeze, what is that again, Rikaichan? Foreign product something or othe--
Rikaichan says: 商品先物取引 しょうひんさきものとりひき (n) commodity futures
Me: gawugljl [commence brain-melt]

Think I'll stick to novels and manga for now, as last I checked, the most complicated financial term I knew in either language was "mutual fund".
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BTW, I haven't had the confidence to invest at all this year. I asked the guy that set up my mutual funds at the bank about it, and he used a bunch of words I didn't know along with "strategy". Ergo my lack of financial planning this year. On the one hand, Americas' economy sucking makes what I already invested look dangerously pittanceful [neologism], but on the other, the more it sucks in America, the stronger my yen is here, at least for now. Maybe, if the American economy gets really bad, it will actually be a good time to invest and I can pull a grandpa Forbes. That's the ticket!
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Edit: I just finished reading a different article, and learned the word 拉致問題. Can you guess what recent story I was reading about? My brain is sleepy and limp now. I take fall down sleep time good.