Because You Asked

What, you didn't ask? That's odd. No, really, someone was having trouble finding my wishlist, during this, the crucial month of my birthening. Try going here. I'd like some books with the Power Japanese sumo wrestler on them please. Or 1 yen Trick books (on the first page of the wishlist).

Shameless, but I've always considered blogging a job that one can tip on, if so inclined, via comments or what have you. The internet is one giant coffee shop.

Super JLPT site

EDIT: Hmm, it looks like there may be a few mistakes on the site I recommend here, so proceed with caution. For instance, I just got:

(2)授業終了のラベルを聞くが＿＿＿、生徒たちは教室を飛び出して行った。
1.早くて
2.早いが
3.早くも
4.早ければ

Wherein the correct answer is listed as "早いが", but I am pretty sure they mean か, not が. Unless I am mistaken. Also, I think ラベル is supposed to be just ベル. I guess you get what you pay for. And now on with the post that is for some reason still offering the link to this site:
--

If you are not subbed to my shared RSS bits, you may have missed this, but it's so impressive thus far that I could not just relegate it to there. Lucky you, Mr. too lazy to sub to my rss bits feed man. So I give those of us slaving away at JLPT studies this link. Seriously, click it.

So far, it serves as a grim confirmation of what I have been predicting. I am not ready. Last night I whittled my Anki deck down to just 1kyu terms (the others still exist somewhere). Anyways, I've improved it quite a bit from when it was simply a list I found on a website and converted it to an Anki deck. I will offer it for download here soon, as I have in the past. My advice to you is never be satisfied with fishy definitions, even from me.

I had more thoughts on the last post, and made a fancy picture-thingy to explain the ideas I had to help fix what I was rambling about, but forgot to bring it with me on the thumb drive. Perhaps next time as well. You might want to consider my RSS feed for this blog for your update needs. In fact, I have tons of RSS feeds for you. But putting the topic back to last post, someone was wondering agog about what the heck I was talking about. The problem is it would take a long time to describe it to you, and to study in the manner I outlined would take a textbook that only exists in my head as a book-amoeba. It may mitosisize soon too. Anyways, my advice at this stage, besides take all my advice with a grain of salt, is to buy (or torrent for the evil among us) the Remembering the Kanji books. Master the first two volumes. Well, actually, I think just getting familiar with volume 2 is enough at first, but master 1. Then read Tae Kim's guide all the way through. That's the best Claytonian system-substitution I can offer at this time. Anyways, I've revised my thoughts into a more holistic, staggered system-amoeba in my head zone. And there is always the approach that people mentioned in the comments last time: All Japanese All the Time. Thing is, there seem to be some gaps in his system I've never gotten to figure out. I am sure the problem lies with me. I just want to know where he got 10,000 example sentences, and how he made sure they are good and full of a variety of words. It sounds intriguing though. Maybe he should make a textbook.

Geeze, another long post about something only a few lingistics nerds care about. And my tone is odd; no doubt because I have been reading John Hodgeman's blog.

If You Want to Learn Japanese

Long post is looooong. And tautology cat is tautological.

If I could go back to the beginning and learn Japanese again... well, a number of things could have been better. No class I have ever heard of really teaches things in the right order. I'm not even sure what the right order is, but I think it might be something like this:

Though I know it would make Tae Kim bristle, I think learning the kanji by the Heisig method (assigning English readings to, and memorizing out of context (at first) all the kanji, plus learning to write them via mnemonic stories) would be best for a beginner of Japanese. It would probably take up a whole semester; a really intense one. However, I wouldn't adhere strictly to the "daily use" kanji, since we all know that list is a bit off; on that point I break a bit with Heisig, but as per Heisig, delaying the Asian readings a bit bring us to the next phase/semester:
Then the kana comes. After that, the onyomi and katakana words. Then lots of 2-character words (finally, context of how kanji work together!), maybe as many as 500 (I would write their readings, at this point in the game, in katakana to subconsciously emphasize the difference from what is to come later). But not one-kanji words, because most don't use a Chinese reading and we don't want to worry about that and conjugation yet, so only onyomi readings, no tricky words with kunyomi reading at this point (no okurigana!), to be followed by longer, multiple-kanji words and 4-character words/idioms (gotta have idioms for fun and a little history helps make things interesting). At this time, だ can be taught to let the students finally be able to make a sentence.*
Following all these onyomi (kango) words would be the one-kanji kunyomi words complete with okurigana and conjugation(also *--you'll see why when you get to the footnotes). Towards the end of all this (at the same time): the beginnings of grammar instruction.
And when I talk grammar, I think the order should be important too. First, the concept that a verb is a complete sentence (and that a copula is a very special verb with limited conjugations!); I wouldn't emphasize the pronouns for a long time (though they may know the kanji and readings for them, students wouldn't get the grammar to use them for a while). I want to make subject-less language seem natural to them. I would cover almost all the verb conjugations (this is during the kunyomi stage of instruction); really show how agglutinative this language is. At the same time, the suru verb concept gets good play.
Following right along should be na-adjectives, because of the special role that copulas play with them, letting you make adjectives (na is da). Then no-adjectives, which should be a short section. After that, i-adjectives, because if we learn them after other adjectives, we are less likely to get na-adjectives that sound like i-adjectives mixed up in our heads when we conjugate (so master those na-adjective+copula conjugations first! Not 綺麗くない！綺麗じゃない).

At each step, I would make efforts to master all conjugation forms (て comes latter though). Anyways, most of the other grammar would come after the base-work had been established. Things like te-form would probably come later in the game; I would incorporate it into keigo instruction because of how often it comes up there (ex: ～てください or ～てあげる etc.), but I would probably introduce the so-called masu-stem shortly after furigana comes around (since it is used for a lot more than just masu). Yes, that sounds good; pretend I wrote that in the appropriate place above. After furigana comes verb stems and kunyomi combo-words.

*: I might let the copula だ loose here, just so they can make a simple sentence, but desu comes much later (note that I don't believe だ is merely a plain です; Tae Kim wouldn't bristle at that). In fact, I would always teach the plain and/or dictionary form of everything first, and maybe even delay masu's introduction (it's a special verb IMHO) . Polite language may be, well, polite, but it's instruction too early is a major problem that 99% of teachers make. Most people learn masu form before anything else; it's a little silly.

The main problem with my curriculum is that it would be long before people had the tools to converse, and the majority of people that take it in college (anime nerds) would probably not be patient enough for it. However, part of the reason why Japanese is hard to learn despite being so simple is because we learn it in a pretty mixed up manner. With the kanji and kana, it can feel like learning 4 languages at once; and they all get crammed in your head, delaying those important realizations that help you through a language. If you master being able to read, however, then encounter how to conjugate and link words in an orderly manner, I think it will be a series of simple concepts building upon each other. Another problem with my system in this post is memorizing words without context could be a bit hard to do, so an earlier introduction of some grammar elements may be necessary to make sentences. But really, no sentences until after the kanji are mastered on the singular level.
A lot of people learn phrasal Japanese ("my name is x, it is nice to meet you"), and while that may get you through a brief business meeting where you have a translator at your side, it will never teach you Japanese. Avoid phrases until you have mastered everything I say. Phrases are the icing that make you sound good and teach you about culture, but you can't adapt them unless you understand them.

So, anybody interested in learning this way? I would like to know how it works. I can't go back and relearn (well, in a way, that's what I often have to do, come to think of it) in real life; I can only speculate from my proverbial armchair. Sometimes I get the crazy idea to write a series of textbooks, but I am far from that stage... The more I look at this post, the more doubts I get about it, but...

First Private English Lesson

I just taught my first lesson. I could tell from the English used in emails what the woman would be like. It's kind of scary that I can tell someone's background this way just by what kind of broken English they use. Anyways, as I thought, it was a woman retiree who has a habit of learning English just cause, and not really to improve it. But I hope to change that; I would feel pretty guilty if our lessons have no impact on her abilities. She has studied for 7 years at a community center, and is still a bare beginner. Her latest teacher is a Peruvian that speaks English as a second language. So, as you can imagine, we have a long ways to go. I tried to have her read a small section of text (you can see what kind of site I found it on in my shared items today). That didn't work so well; she could hardly read the normal size font, and the words were a few syllables too long for her. I'll have to plan for that sort of thing in the future. She seemed resistant to this kind of book learnin' over all; being at a rather content stage that is probably no different than 7 years ago. I want to see if I can coax her out of her shell.
This is all pretty fascinating to me so far. Next week, I start group classes of old people, half of whom will be like this.
Oh yeah, and I don't know if it will happen every time, but she bought me lunch. Nice! Speaking of food, I bought a convection stove (just one burner but I have an American electric water boiler too so...) and it is fast! I cooked an egg in about 45 seconds this morning (faster than my gas range ever was). Glad I bought it. Maybe with a little more money, I can think about a fridge...

Impressive

So as a typical WASP, I grew up with the stereotype that Asians are with the smarts. But I think what they are really with is the studying. Well, not Japanese kids so much these days, but my fellow language school students, most of whom are Chinese, have been impressing me with their studious natures.
During the summer break, I came in each day to use the nets to find a job (found one by the way! Gonna teach the brains out of those retirees). The other students would come in, but they didn't really use the computers; they just went into the empty classes and studied. And they have been studying ever day after class since we started again on Monday. I'm fairly impressed.
One thing about it, though: they do almost as much talking as studying. In loud voices. I'm thinking maybe studying is a bit of a social activity for them. Well, I guess people of every nationality occasionally make study groups. I remember in college, the beginning Japanese class students made a study group. I wasn't interested, but I was somehow good at Japanese in those days. Should I digress? Okay: I approached the first lesson of that college class in horror, because I could not get it. But we had a video in the language lab that matched the textbook's dialog. I replayed the simple dialog about 40 times. Then it clicked. And I was good at Japanese for a whole semester (at least at regurgitating it--I never thought about grammar in those days). So I didn't need the study group. Then a class conflict left me without Japanese for a whole year and I came into the second class as the worst student of the bunch.
So there is my secret to learning a language: Grock it early. Grock it often. Don't let time elapse between grockings. Or you will be stuck in remedial 1kyu (oxymoron) class, like me, years later.
Or, study like a Chinese person.
--
Also, I want to learn to read Chinese someday. I don't care to speak it though. Same goes with French. German, I might be able to wrap my tongue around.

Adventures in Ignorance

So far, youtubers seem to think I am making a Dragon Ball reference with the pillow. No. You sad, sad people... I thought it was only the Japanese that were unaware of the resemblence of some of their characters to something else, but anime nerds dissapoint me now as well. Irony on top of my satire.
BTW, the pillow didn't stay that way for longer than a satirical skit.

Tricky Challenge

Can you read all the writing in this Trick screenshot? I'm taking my fandom to obsessive levels here...
--
Had a good interview with a group of old folks today. They even payed for my train fare to come, but they still aren't decided about who gets the job. I can't help but wonder if when I sit in on a class this Saturday, I will be next to the competition. That would be awkward.
As awkward as a few minutes ago when the school office lady brought me a laptop to fix. A Korean laptop. I did the F8 trick, but that's about the limit of my powers.

"I hate Japan" Days

I was hating Japan yesterday. Because my new bike was stolen. In broad daylight. What the hell, Japan?

Still Alive

I'm not one to go long without poppin' out a post, but no nets makes for a lack of inspiration. Well, there is inspiration, but I forget it by the time (day) that I can actually make it to a computer. One of the thoughts that has been swimming around in my head is that the universe conspires to help me, but not necessarily all that hard. Lazy universe. I may have found the perfect job; the interview went great. But I wasn't interviewed by the people who are actually in charge of the money. So I have a good recommendation versus someone else's face time. Nobody has tried to be my student through the teaching website I joined. I lower my fees each day in desperation.

There was some jerky guy that tried to leave a comment on my last post, where I asked for donations if people felt like it. He said that everyone in Japan is rich and that food is cheap. "300 yen ramen in the streets of Tokyo". Let this pauper redress you, friend: People without jobs, people paying tuition, are not rich. This isn't the bubble economy. Second, this weird thing about ramen. First, I have never seen ramen that cheap that wasn't freeze-dried and waiting to be cooked by me. Second, what kind of person lives off ramen? Eating healthy takes a little cash.

But there are tons of little expenses in Japan. For instance, the trains are more expensive here. It doesn't make any sense; a hundred people jammed into the car, and it costs twice as much as the countryside to get anywhere.They must be raking in the profits here to distribute their losses in rural areas is all I can figure. Taken right from the government model, that. And I should know. I'm the engineer on the crazy train to poor town.

Livin' Small in Japan

I'm e-begging. You know what to do.

In for a few million pennies

Finally got a visa yesterday. Had to pay tuition today. "Installments," they said, "why would we do that. All money now please."
I can't get an official job until I have some work permission document. In Fukuoka, there was an international office/library thing with a bulletin board that teachers would use to find students. I haven't seen a place like that yet around here... I would like to charge 3,500 an hour, less 500 if students bring food. 2,000 yen for two peeps at the same time, 1,500 yen for 3. Sound reasonable? Know any potential students? Send them to my town!

filed under: ド貧乏

My New Shwanky Bachelor Pad

A notice that I can now buy a 4000 yen stamp for my special foreigner stamp book has arrived. Soon I will be legal Morlock again.