Homeless Japanese Dudes Really Like Me

Well, I suspect they just like Western-looking people in general. The reason being somehow they caught on to the fact that Western culture has a strong tradition of charity. Japan, on the other hand, has a culture of 恩返し (ongaeshi,gratitude+return). Someone gives you a gift and then you try to return it or pay it forward to someone lower on the pecking order.

Odd image via Nippon Cinema

When NOVA went under, we started to hear stories of out of work English teachers getting food from their former students. But a lot of those students then sat themselves or their child down for a free English lesson. Expecting something in return is not charity, so if you want charity a foreigner is a good person to go to.

Often I am accosted by gentlemen of the homeless persuasion at larger train stations around here. They always address me in English to ask for money. I, having mixed feelings about what they will spend their money on, often counter with, "おにぎりは?" (How about a riceball?). They always walk away, though I genuinely am offering.

Tonight I walked into my local Dokihotei to buy some weights. A rather unwashed-looking gentleman followed me in, said "HELLO!" and thrust out a left hand, bedecked in fungusy nails, for me to reluctantly shake. I tried to wave bye-bye, but he followed me throughout the store, cornering me near my quarry, a set of adjustable dumbbells. After a weird show of strength with forearm exercise pincers, he started to ask me in Japanese for money. I gave my usual onigiri counter offer, and he raised for bread. Deal. He wanted to carry my heavy purchase for me, but as I am not from an ongaeshi culture, I couldn't let him. Maybe that was insensitive of me; I don't know the rules that well. Anyways, he got the bread, and I got to to thinking, so the end result is a blog post.
--
Virtue is its own reward.
徳はそれ自体が報いである。

Japanese Study Links

Sign/Ad J | J Slang | J News w/Pics | J Vids
Karaoke | J Commercials | Let's Yoji! | Kanji

Japanese Zombies Are the Standard

I used to think the plethora of anime out there represented the fact that the Japanese are creative. Then I taught their middle schoolers, who couldn't imagine their way outside of an... imaginary... box thing. After that I started to look at anime and Japanese culture a little more scrutibly. I scruted the heck out of it. My conclusion is that the culture stifles creative impulses. But such impulses are human nature, and so they will come to the fore in some way while still remaining true to the national idioms. I leave you with video evidence, but before I do, let me make it clear I still love living here. One friend of mine said something understandable on the subject: "I love living in Japan, but I hate the boring Japanese people I have to live in it with."

Japanese Study Links

Sign/Ad J | J Slang | J News w/Pics | J Vids
Karaoke | J Commercials | Let's Yoji! | Kanji

How Does One Say Haiku in Tamil?

I recently found out a bit more about one of my favorite music videos. I even found a version of it with the Tamil lyrics translated. The answer to the title's question is within, as is the answer to "What do they call eyebrows?"
Ah talk of eyebrows takes me back to teaching English at elementary schools. But hey, were getting off track when I had a natural segway to show the video that I originally pondered about this stuff in:

Giri-choco Taste Test

Okay, so it's not exactly the most exotic food I've tried out, but giri-choco is distinctively Japanese...

Followup: The World of Rouraa [classic Japan video]

I recently posted at Japan Probe about a new video by Peter Bjorn and John featuring those dancing Elvis guys that everyone sees in Yoyogi park in Tokyo. But I wanted to know a little more about them^[1], including what the heck you call them in Japanese. A reader delivered the term ローラー in due time, and I was able to find out a bit more thanks to that.
Also found this interesting video. I wonder if this will send a ping to backtrack on JP so the Probers[2] can know; I suspect a lot of them lurk here anyways.


This was during the 80s, when the people doing this were still young. The announcer seems to be talking a little funny; rolling his r's and such.

--
^[1]I never bother to hide my ignorance; I ain't proud, and you find out more that way ;-)

^[2] Probers is my special name for the readers there. It will never catch on. Anyways, backtracking has never been written into the html here before now, but I added it to the code to see if anything will change...

Japanese Slang: SPY

"I know what spy means", you may be saying to yourself, but there is a new use for those three letters that reveals a bit about Japanese culture. Many ninjas died to bring us this post.

SPY is an acronym (pronounced スパイ). Much like the famous KY, that comes from the letters in a word, Suppin Yabakune. The first word, すっぴん means face without makeup. I believe ヤバくね means "~ is a little risky, in'it" or "best check your (face)" from the adjective やばい. Anyways, together I think they mean "the feeling that comes when one realizes that they don't have their makeup on." I am still a little unclear if it is the girl herself that says this, or her friend who warns her, but I would guess it is the friend from the ね, and it's like saying "XYZ" in English. Do you know for sure how to use it, dear readers? [source]

So what does this have to do with culture? Well I don't think it necessary related to the shallowness of ユニバレ, but there is this interesting rule in polite Japanese society (which is just about all Japanese society) : If you are a woman you always wear makeup outside of the house*. To not do so is not an option, because it is considered rude. The American in me really doesn't like this rule, but to each society their own I guess.

One more thing on makeup in Japan: Applying it in public is something that pisses the older generations off. I remember a teacher here at the school asking "Have you ever seen a girl putting on makeup on her bike? Why is that bad? Because one should put on their makeup in the privacy of her own room, where no one can see."
To which I replied, "So the problem isn't that she is being dangerous by riding and putting on makeup, but that people see her?"
To which the teacher replied, "That's a rather しつこい (obstinate) question."
--
Bonus vocab:
アルファベット略語: Alphabet abbreviation. Words that start out as Japanese and get abbreviated using roman letters.
KY語: KY word. A word that, following the pattern of KY, becomes an alphabet abbreviated word.
--
*And a bra. I had a German friend that got in trouble with her boyfriend for not observing that rule.

Cute Little Nazis

Oh dear. I've blogged before about how Japanese people sometimes don't get that what they are doing is incredibly offensive, especially when it comes to the Nazi thing. I remember one time going into the "weird-cool foreign stuff" store and seeing a display of Mein Kampf complete with a flag that had a swastika, skull, and S.S. lightning bolts, as if it was just one more cool thing you could get into.
So the girls in this video, well they don't really surprise me when they show ignorance, or cheerfully do a Hitler impression at the end.
The hair pin was classic too; only a Japanese girl would think of making Hitler into another cute character.

[tanks to TokyoCooney]
EDIT: The girls had to appologize, or at least their company did.
ALSO EDIT: Here are some cute cosplay Nazi photos. What? Yeah.

Oh yeah

Occasionally, I will look around my surroundings and realize that I am the only white person in the room, and on top of that, a fairly stereotypical blond-haired blue-eyed one at that. It's a weird sensation, this remembering I'm a little different business, but it passes after a few seconds...

In other situations, I have started to feel that maybe I am blending in a little too well. Recently, I went to an izakaya and had the odd experience of being called onii-san (brother/mister) by a fellow customer. Then I was almost ignored when I got on the karaoke. What, no Oh! Look at what the foreigner can do!s? Outside of the usual interview,* and the master's fake American accent used to talk to me, I almost felt like one of the gang.

One of the reasons I had an interest in Japan is that I thought it was a country for and of quiet people, but that is another post.
--
* the interview: Where are you from? No, I mean which country? What part of America? I've never heard of that state, where is it? What? How do you say it? How long in Japan? Do you teach English? What do you think of Japanese girls? How's your sex life? Please give details. Do you know a foreigner I met 5 years back in Hokkaido? Do you speak Japanese? It's hard, don't you think?

If I am missing any, make a comment.

It's All About Me Me Me

Hey there, I'm going to a bloggers' party tonight, on the invitation of the virally net-famous Danny Choo (he's the dancing stormtrooper). So I thought this would be a good time to post this screen grab from a website that compiles a multimedia wall of youtube content based on keywords, in order to have something to present tonight. My keyword was, of course, Claytonian. Have a look:

I do pleading eyebrows quite often, don't I. And to think, I laughed at the same eyebrows on Natalie Portman when she said, "You're breaking my heart, Anakin!" Hey, back on Starwars already. Annnnd... off it.

--
I make cheap copies at a local bookstore for my freelancing. I think the owner doesn't like foreigners or something; I've seen her talk nicely to other customers but she treats me like dirt and avoids polite language beyond the bare minimum of masu-form when I have a problem with the machine, which is often (it's an odd machine). Now, it's a bit late in the game for me to realize this, having just turned 28, but I've come to feel that I get really stressed when I don't have a good relationship with someone (I am also a perverse blend of instigator and peace maker--what a meddler I be). So I am trying to get this lady to warm up, for my own sake if nothing else. "Hello," I say each time I come (in Japanese of course). She has yet to change, so I get more stressed and try to be more friendly. And I could probably--nay should-- take my business elsewhere, but this odd thing of a Japanese person being rude really gets to me and I have to try...
Along the same vein, some of the members of the English club I work for have complained that my lessons are a bit too hard. I really stress out when I hear that sort of thing, thought it shall be a simple matter to change things (my plans are already in motion, and my simpler reading materials arranged). So I am worried. While I know what is like to not get things in a language learning situation (boy do I ever know), I am a little unsure of what a retiree wants out of an English club. It seems they are in it more for something fun to do than to improve their skills, and who am I to dis that idea? When you retire, you wanna take it easy right? My instigator-side isn't happy with complacency though...
Oh, one more thing about the copy lady. She sells magazines with little girls in bikinis on the cover (work safe link, I swear) in her store, so at the end of the day, if I can't charm her, I can at least feel superior. And that, folks, is, in a nutshell, how to lead a successful lifestyle in a foreign land! a cha cha!

Impressive

So as a typical WASP, I grew up with the stereotype that Asians are with the smarts. But I think what they are really with is the studying. Well, not Japanese kids so much these days, but my fellow language school students, most of whom are Chinese, have been impressing me with their studious natures.
During the summer break, I came in each day to use the nets to find a job (found one by the way! Gonna teach the brains out of those retirees). The other students would come in, but they didn't really use the computers; they just went into the empty classes and studied. And they have been studying ever day after class since we started again on Monday. I'm fairly impressed.
One thing about it, though: they do almost as much talking as studying. In loud voices. I'm thinking maybe studying is a bit of a social activity for them. Well, I guess people of every nationality occasionally make study groups. I remember in college, the beginning Japanese class students made a study group. I wasn't interested, but I was somehow good at Japanese in those days. Should I digress? Okay: I approached the first lesson of that college class in horror, because I could not get it. But we had a video in the language lab that matched the textbook's dialog. I replayed the simple dialog about 40 times. Then it clicked. And I was good at Japanese for a whole semester (at least at regurgitating it--I never thought about grammar in those days). So I didn't need the study group. Then a class conflict left me without Japanese for a whole year and I came into the second class as the worst student of the bunch.
So there is my secret to learning a language: Grock it early. Grock it often. Don't let time elapse between grockings. Or you will be stuck in remedial 1kyu (oxymoron) class, like me, years later.
Or, study like a Chinese person.
--
Also, I want to learn to read Chinese someday. I don't care to speak it though. Same goes with French. German, I might be able to wrap my tongue around.

Adventures in Ignorance

So far, youtubers seem to think I am making a Dragon Ball reference with the pillow. No. You sad, sad people... I thought it was only the Japanese that were unaware of the resemblence of some of their characters to something else, but anime nerds dissapoint me now as well. Irony on top of my satire.
BTW, the pillow didn't stay that way for longer than a satirical skit.

Gaijin Can Understand Our Inscrutable Society?!

Found a mildly disappointing, yet not surprising, survey today as translated by Ken at What Japan Thinks. Take a look at this list of things foreigners can do to surprise Japanese people:

1 Writing difficult kanji
2 Bowing on the telephone
3 Using dialect
4 Speaking Japanese fluently
5 Using proverbs, idioms
6 Eating natto
7 Habitually using chopsticks
8 Getting drunk with tie tied around head
9 Using Japanese era dates, not Western calendar
10 Singing enka, folk songs
11 Passing through crowds with a “suimasen” and the one-handed chop
12 Sitting “seiza”
13 Slurping noodles
14 Dancing a bon dance
15 Using a toothpick
16 After a bath drinking fruity milk with one hand on hip
17 Sleeping on a futon on the floor
18 Taking off shoes before going indoors
19 Wearing a kimono, yukata
20 Queueing properly

Let's analyze. Numbers 1-5 I can kind of understand. After that a lot of them are either quaint or severely underestimating foreigners. We do our homework before we come, Japan. And I could swear America invented #8. #16 is not something I ever thought of as cultural. #15 makes no sense.
One of the things I liked about our new textbooks was the chapter with the foreigner complaining about being asked if she uses chopsticks all the time. I used that as a spring board for a lesson about what is rude in both countries and what isn't and the difference. It's hard to explain why the chopstick and language compliments are "rude" though.
Number 10 is one of my favorite activities.

もののあわれ

Props to Jeff for not only reminding me that it was firefly season, but also learnin' me a bit about some fancy nippongo words.
So let me summarize: From Jeff, I learned the word 諸行無常, which is a Buddhist concept of the inevitable impermanence of things. Which reminds one of もののあわれ, the appreciation of the impermanence of things, as illustrated by short-lived fireflies and sakura blossoms (life is short, therefore beautiful--Jeff seemed to contend that this is a depressive thing, but as the Hopeless Romantic, I am inclined to put my sad-is-beautiful spin on it).　もののあわれ finds it's origins in The Tale of Genji, whereas 諸行無常 finds it's genesis in the tale of Heike--which is about the Heike and Genji clans' war (they used to have different names, but this is the convention now). By the way, Mr. Heike and Mr. Genji sit in that image on the title bar of this very blog these days.
Now oddly enough, when I went up into the mountains to view fireflies, I met an old lady associate of mine. She informed me then that fireflies, the reminders of もののあわれ, are split into two types: Heike and Genji. Is this a coincidence, or did the bug naming guys have the two tales, concepts, and clans in mind, due to relationships of impermanent sayings? Who knows. Anyways, I thought it was neat.
I was informed that there was going to be a firefly festival in the same spot the next night, so I returned. There was a band and food and everyone eying me as usual--at one point I was forced to dance for the crowd with my old lady friend, this is the wages of easy wages in a foreign land, so no real surprise there.
I mentioned もののあわれ to a guy that was buddying* me, and he seemed impressed, saying Japanese people these days don't know about that. Judging on how people acted that night, I am inclined to agree. During the music and lottery portions of the evening, everyone stayed off to the side of the riverbank, in the lights where one can hardly see fireflies. Some of the children played in the river, but came up for the raffle when it was dark. When the event ended, almost everyone just left. No actual going down to the river to look at the reason why we were there. I was astounded; here we have these little wonders of nature, and nobody cares.
And far be it for me to think I am doing the Japanese thing better than the Japanese do (though sometimes I wonder if that is how the impremanence of this culture is going to manifest: in the hands of a few foreigners). I was just confused why people don't stop to enjoy the sights. After all, our time on this world is fleeting, and therefore beautiful.
--
Incidentally, I ran into a barbecue while wandering about the rivers that night, and not only ate strips of, but was given a huge chunk of boar meat. I made boar meat chili with it. Yum. Oddly un-porky.
--
*buddying: The process of giving unwanted food, drinks, and 30 years-unused-English-skills to a foreigner who is just trying to enjoy the quiet majesty of nature. Also known as gawk-blocking.

This is Your Brain on Japanese Drugs

This is the one and only warning against drugs I have seen in my time in Japan. Kids usually have one of two things on their pencil cases here: swastikas or marijuana leaves. The teachers have no clue what it means; I've asked. They don't seem concerned at all when I tell them the meaning. Whatever, crazy foreigner. There also never seems to be anything like assemblies where a guest comes and explains why drugs are bad, m'kay. I could be missing such events though. I did see an old man come to talk to the children about the bomb at least. Oh and there was "what to do if a crazy guy comes to the school" and fire preparedness days. But anyways, teachers seem more concerned about cell phones than drugs. If someone gets caught with a cell phone, there are days of meetings about it.

Why my hashi are not your hashi

My hashi: chopsticks one takes with them to eating establishments to avoid using disposable ones and thus give the environment a break.

My hashi is a Japanese term. At first I was very happy that everyone seemed to be using English when I pulled mine out. "O! Mai hashi!" they would say, and praise my environmentalness--I even got a couple Japanese people in on the whole taking hashi around thing. And a trend seemed to be sweeping the nation: not of actually using the things, but at least knowing the word "my." The English teacher in me was cheered.

After a while, I started to catch on that the meaning of "my" had been lost on the general populace, despite it being a very basic word taught in 7th grade. "Oh! Clay! My car?" they would say as I got out of a vehicle.
"Uh, yes." I would say.
"Oh! My home, Clayton?"
"Well it's my home..."
"Clayton! My jitensha?"
"No, that's mine. Do you see? Mine. Not yours. My bike. Not my bike. D'oh...."

And so life has become a bit of a "who's on first" joke in this county.
--
The true cause of the "my hashi" boom:

Now you're a ramen man!

There are sociology and cultural lessons everywhere if one looks (and has the time to make stuff up). Case in point: ramen!

The third-years are gone, and a lot of teachers are eating lunch in the teachers room with us regulars today. The odd thing I've noticed is that almost all the rough, male teachers (ones that are less likely to wear business clothes and opt for things like track suits--no administration teachers) are all eating cup ramen with their meals. I have a couple theories why this could be happening (no proof at all here):
First, eating something beyond the main meal proves you are a virile male able to consume great quantities. Secondly, they are expressing their freedom, which kinda also ties into the maleness. Next, they gotta show up the other guys when they see ramen being consumed. A culinary pulling out of the rulers if you will. Plus, often in Japan, people follow rituals to be a part of the group and establish their identity. Even ramen eating can be a ritual in this society.

They can't do things like eat ramen in the classroom (students would feel shafted). Maybe they even get nagged for eating ramen at home due to it's junk food rep. So these special occasions are when the ramen comes out and the ritual of noodle-manhood begins with a manly "su-su-su" slurp.

I was just discussing my reasoning with a non-ramen teacher. He kinda followed me on the manliness, but he doesn't think being free has much to do with manliness (this could be due to my misunderstanding of what 自由 really means). I made the case that wild-men (kind of a set phrase here) are free. But it could be the opposite. They might not be free; they are locked into the ritual and group-mind. To do any less would be... unmanly. Free or not, I feel like it ties into the male essence.

I just thank heaven I decided to wear jeans today* so I can keep up. Not that they consider me part of the group anyways.
--
*I came knowing I would have no classes today. I wear business casual usually.

Sour Grapes

Before the article begins know this to get an idea of my bias: I am a tall white male with blond hair that has dated 3 J girls and 1 foreigner during my time here. One of the J girls was a 2 year relationship.
I do find that the J girls have more of a tendency to forgive my idiosyncrasies (read: awkward behavoir).
--
I've been hearing, during my time in Japan, about how guys that could never get a girlfriend back home are much luckier here. More accurately, I seem to always hear this in a way that casts aspersions against guys that date Japanese women. I hear this on blogs, from girls I'm friends with, and from the occasional guy too.

First off, let me confirm that it is pretty easy for a foreigner to find many interested girls in this country. That is as much a fact as a non-quantifiable thing can be. And I will also confirm that some ugly dudes get girls way above them on the 1-10 scale.

But it seems to be that disparity that bugs our foreign sisters so much. All is fair in love and war, unless your ugly, in which case it is cheating. That seems to be at the root of the sentiment. I also hear a lot of "guys come over here and get arrogant." I can hear the vitriol in women's words when they say it. I also recently read a woman blogger's send up of "charisma men," in which she seemed to think that these guys completely lack in all social graces and dis other foreigners in favor of hanging out with J girls. A type of guy I have yet to encounter here.

I keep hearing about these terribly awkward and rude guys, but I never meet them (it admittedly could be a factor of where I live: inaka). All the guys that I know that are dating J girls seem pretty nice and normal to me. So I am wondering where all the sour grapes come from. I hate to say it, but I think it's a racist and jealous thing. And that is going to hurt some feelings, but some people really need to take the time and reflect on why they would be bothered by an interracial relationship. I hear words like "yellow fever" and I cringe, because while I think fetishists exist in small numbers in all demographics, I don't think but a tiny portion of guys target specific races to date, and this term only exists out of hatred.

There are guys that use the J girls' tendency to jump into relationships to their advantage. But it happens back home too; they're called players and some are so proficient in America that they tutor other guys for money. So being a sleezy guy has nothing to do with Japan. Sleezy guys may end up here, but I think they are rare enough that the usual anti white/Japanese sentiments are still oddly numerous and shrill . It's a bias that some girls carry, like a chip on their shoulder.

And you know what's the silliest thing about it? If girls really are miffed that guys are asking out these very friendly J girls, they really should try asking guys out more often. Girls, how many guys have you asked out in your life? Think about that number. It's not hard to get a date if you ask; I hear all foreign guys in this country are sluts anyways; some girl told me that. Be proactive, or stop complaining. Take charge and quit looking for ways in which life seems unfair; for ways to tear down others.

But I express thanks to girls that have an open mind about international relationships, or are even in them themselves. That's brilliant! Your voices are too often drowned out by the others. And I apologize if I hit too close on this one with some of you; I hope it causes reflection and not anger.

Rubber noses make furrowed brows

There may be some among you that have found my shared items on my blog, powered by Google Reader. It's a beautiful thing, this monolithic Google letting me share all kinds of weirdness, but what I'm trying to say is this: Don't judge me by what I share, if you can. I don't share just the items that I think are cool, but what I think will get people thinking or even yelling. Case in point: A Daily Portal Z article in which a Japanese man basically puts on black face to look like presidential hopeful (that may change by tomorrow) Barrack Obama. Oh and he has a big rubber gaijin nose too.
I'm a little conflicted; I like Daily Portal Z and I think this thing gets funny at times. Especially when Hillary shows up in the article. Then there is the politically-correct, and dare I say oppressed at times, foreigner side to me that always feels its a bad idea to paint yourself up like a black man, or a white woman for that matter. Then yet again, this could be political satire so sophisticated it goes over my head.
So yeah it's in my shared items. But I am ambivalent about it. Which is probably more than I can say for the people involved.

2 1 1

Two kinds of pills.
One kind of liquid.
One bottle of iodine.

I have fungus. And bacteria. In my throat. Ironically, one of my medicines is penicillin (fungus) based.

Japanese drugstores have a funny routine when they give you your medicine. They go, "Oh, your throat is sore, isn't it?" "Yes? Well take these after meals." "Oh, and your chest has an interesting sensation, right?" etc.

Making you want to say, "Just gimme my medicine. And validate my parking."

Nothing sacred

So a kid drops his math triangles on the floor. I take them to the board and draw a small house shrine (or maybe it wasn't; I also drew a portrait of some man in a picture frame so I could have been drawing a funeral thing--we'll get to why it's bad that I don't really know) and some incense and a plate of mikans. Then I place the triangles there as if I am making an offering to my ancestors.

The kids thought it was hilarious.

When the teacher finally noticed, she thought it was sacrilegious. She sternly said, "We don't do that," and erased it. Then she turned to the class and said something quickly with the word "joke". I'm not sure if she was covering my actions or denouncing them.



So a couple of factors go into my surprise, and my やっぱり "I shoulda known" feelings about the matter.

Factors that made me think it was okay:
The Japanese aren't religious. They often seem pretty proud of how religious they aren't.
I was talking to the other teacher before class, and she joked about how if you don't honor your deceased grandma with a snack offering, she will turn into a vengeful ghost. So I had it in my head at the time that one can joke about that very thing.
There are many scenes in animes and comedies where I have seen people joking about funerals. Please see this video for what I am talking about with the funeral funnies.
The kids seemed to think it was funny.

Factors that should of let me know that things would suddenly take a turn for "I'm sorry I just insulted you and your entire culture":
The Japanese are religious, or at least ceremonial in a Confucian way. Even though many of them proclaim no religious beliefs, almost everyone still has those home shrines. All the festivals, save our Saga balloon festival, have religious overtones.
Funeral stuff is taboo. My students were shocked when we had a discussion in which I stated that sticking your chopsticks in your bowl and standing them that way is not rude. Shoulda foresaw that related stuff would be bad too.
That teacher takes everything I do seriously. For instance, I described a guy as a "the one that is a little chubby" when at a loss for a name, and she heard me across the room and was like, "What did you say?!"
A funeral is not the same as a home shrine. Once again, I am too culturally ignorant to know if I depicted a shrine as I intended, but in any case, I don't know some of the taboos going on, so while it may be okay for comedians on TV (afore-posted video link), there are rules to the comedy I might not get.
The children are aliens. No, seriously, any middle school teacher in Japan will tell you that. Ask them about the alien thing. What it boils down to is the children may have thought it was okay to laugh because they are not yet indoctrinated.
The Japanese are superstitious. Usually only in a "this will bring me good luck" way, but still.

So, yeah. Sorry bout that Japan.