English Teaching Horrors: Finding a Replacement

So I'm moving to Yokohama, in case you didn't get the memo. I'll be changing the name of this blog to Loco in Yokohama*. Like it?
But one thing I need to do before I go is find a replacement for the informal eikaiwa group that I teach once a week. It's hard enough considering I live in Kumagaya in the northern reaches of Dasaitama, but the people who anwered my craigslist article for the job really tried my patience.

Not one native English speaker applied. Not one. Instead, I got about ten people who hadn't read the ad properly. Many of them thought I was offering a visa. Most of them didn't think about how far they would have to travel.

My favorite was the angry Italian. At first he tried to pretend he was a company, and offered two employees for me. Bemused, I politely let him know that his English level was not what we needed, but inquired if his friend was a native speaker. He wrote back:

why, what wrong with my english?
mine is american-english, i learn this english in us,
im sorry if i didn't not study in england as this job must required,
but i learn english by my self. try to be on my shoes and learn same as me
with out any school, i never got problem with this, only today after 5 years i work
even as a interpreter someone told me ''your english is not correct''
come on, give me a brake. anyway, about my friend, no it is not native,
but you request high level so i don't think so you need it.
good luck then.

Feeling devilish, I wrote:

Once again, I don't mean to be rude. I'm sure you can survive fine in the English speaking world, and I understand most of what you write, but we need someone with a higher level of English for a teacher.

For instance, you said, "why, what wrong with my english?" The correct way to say this is "Why, what's wrong with my English?"
Keep that in mind the next time you apply to teach. Good luck.

This set him off. He replied:

listen buddy,
i don't need any lesson of life from you.

you cannot judge people

you are nothing

and you dont know who im

so , don't expand your self.

and trust me i wont be so stupid to apply for a person as you next time.

I was wrong my friend! I predict you will have a long and successful life as an English teacher in Japan.

--
*:Just an inside joke, I won't change the blog name.

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