February 9, 2010

English Teaching Horrors: Finding a Replacement

So I'm moving to Yokohama, in case you didn't get the memo. I'll be changing the name of this blog to Loco in Yokohama*. Like it?
But one thing I need to do before I go is find a replacement for the informal eikaiwa group that I teach once a week. It's hard enough considering I live in Kumagaya in the northern reaches of Dasaitama, but the people who anwered my craigslist article for the job really tried my patience.

Not one native English speaker applied. Not one. Instead, I got about ten people who hadn't read the ad properly. Many of them thought I was offering a visa. Most of them didn't think about how far they would have to travel.

My favorite was the angry Italian. At first he tried to pretend he was a company, and offered two employees for me. Bemused, I politely let him know that his English level was not what we needed, but inquired if his friend was a native speaker. He wrote back:
why, what wrong with my english?
mine is american-english, i learn this english in us,
im sorry if i didn't not study in england as this job must required,
but i learn english by my self. try to be on my shoes and learn same as me
with out any school, i never got problem with this, only today after 5 years i work
even as a interpreter someone told me ''your english is not correct''
come on, give me a brake. anyway, about my friend, no it is not native,
but you request high level so i don't think so you need it.
good luck then.
Feeling devilish, I wrote:
Once again, I don't mean to be rude. I'm sure you can survive fine in the English speaking world, and I understand most of what you write, but we need someone with a higher level of English for a teacher.

For instance, you said, "why, what wrong with my english?" The correct way to say this is "Why, what's wrong with my English?"
Keep that in mind the next time you apply to teach. Good luck.
This set him off. He replied:
listen buddy,
i don't need any lesson of life from you.
you cannot judge people
you are nothing
and you dont know who im
so , don't expand your self.
and trust me i wont be so stupid to apply for a person as you next time.
I was wrong my friend! I predict you will have a long and successful life as an English teacher in Japan.

*:Just an inside joke, I won't change the blog name.

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  1. i guess you'll have to eat alot more if you want to expand yourself...

  2. Good story - interesting for me, but not surprising.
    Keep up the great work.
    Cheers ... NL

  3. I think craigslist was a bad place to start. How many English majors know about craigslist?

  4. Do you seriously need a replacement teacher? All I would need is a Japanese work visa sponsor. Currently, I work in the U.S. as a sales associate for Sam's Club in Nevada. I know this is rather informal, but could I apply as your replacement.

    I am a native English speaker that lives in Nevada. My Japanese skills are around intermediate level. (I just recently passed JLPT 3, but could have probably taken 2級 as well.) I also have a 4 year degree from the United States. If you are interested in my offer, please send me a reply.I can send you a resume and a cover letter if you want.

  5. Sorry should of read more carefully. But, if I get a job in Saitama I would be interested in picking some extra hours.

  6. Are you trying to kill me with exasperation?! :D

  7. @Jonhwachimijigger
    I'm trying to be the bigger person here!

  8. Claytonian>> Not really. If I wanted to do that, it would involve some rope, a chair, and a powerpuff girls DVD played on loop. :p

  9. yeah a bit tough finding a good person to replace you. its great if you find someone better, but tough.

  10. Hmm yeah, I dont know exactly where you live, but in the countryside native speakers are far and few between. its strange that so many people applied that arent though, i guess that proves they arent native if they cant read ur application requirements lol


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