Yesterday I had tons of visa drama. Let me just say I will be cutting things close, people. I have an intricate tourist-backup-visa plan, but at that point I am probably just going to ask for a ticket home, because maybe no country is worth this many loop-jumpings.
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Anyways, our JETs got together en-mass one last time at a hotel buffet. I realized that this year I know people not much at all. My location is an excuse for some of that, but I think it is mostly the effect of three years of new people coming in and forming their own mini communities and kind of going under this veteran's radar. So as for all the people I really, really want to see one last time, well, I think that we will get together. Someone mentioned their high school ten year reunion coming up. I wonder if I'd even want to go to mine...
One complaint: nobody voted for me for the karaoke freak awards. Have they not seen the playlist? Oh wait, I just outlined above that these people and I don't really see each other. Speaking of singing, all the Americans got together at the flags and sang the star-spangled banner. I actually felt patriotic. I bet the other JETs wished that they could be an American.
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I had a dream about a past relationship today; no doubt triggered by thoughts of what has happened over the last three years. It had an interesting, happy ending, but then I woke, and, well... reality is not the dream.
July 5, 2008
July 3, 2008
Not a Calendar Per-- OH CRAP
My time left here is ridiculously short. Today was spent with that fact rearing it's head. And my future situation is painfully unsettled. Will I get my Passport back? Will it have a visa attached? When do I pay for tuition? Where do I keep my money? Will I have a place to stay? Will I get the info I want from my JET translation course books recorded before I leave them behind? Will I convince the BOE that paying for my train ticket is an honoring of their agreement made three years ago? Will I be beat to crap by this move? Stay tuned.
Filed under: Panic! Why aren't you panicing?! This is Panic-con Alpha!
Filed under: Panic! Why aren't you panicing?! This is Panic-con Alpha!
July 1, 2008
The Post Where I fix Japanese AND English Over a Mug of Cocoa
If you could fix a language, what would you do to make it better? Here are some whimsical thoughts of mine:
English: Get rid of the plural forms of nouns. Trust me, we are already halfway there. Consider: I like cheesecake vs. I like cheesecakes. Which is correct, and which do you use? Let's face it, we use and drop the plural at random. And don't even get me started on uncountable nouns. I'm looking at you, rice. Also, most of our loanwords can't decide if they have a plural form. Moai. Moais.
"But Clay, we need our plural(s)", I hear you say, your monocles popping out of your eyes in horror. Bah. Plural nouns are as redundant as your extra monocle. We can tell everything from be-verbs and pronouns. "I curled two cat. They were light." Totally clear; we don't need an s.
We could try using plurals whenever the context somehow isn't clear if you're gonna whine about it. "Cats," he grunted as he curled another... Or, we could take a page from Japanese and use grouping suffixes (Japanese has no real plurals! Discuss amongst yourselves because I am a little verklempt): "Cat-kind," he grunted...
I still feel like keeping plural forms of pronouns and the singular "a" though, to keep things clear. "It was pretty cat" is too weird (my students would disagree though). As long as we're on pronouns, let's get a proper plural you. "Yous" sounds too gangster, so let's all agree that "guys" is ripe for losing all of it's political-incorrectness and being a valid word.
Regardless of these suggestions, the internets stays as the internets. Cause I loves the internets.
So long and thanks for all the fish(es). Oh wait, gotta fix Japanese too...
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Japanese: Themoon-speak characters kanji can stay, but with caveats: 1) We simplify how to write them, and 2) we simplify their readings.
I don't like a lot of simplified Chinese characters because they get stripped to meaningless squiggles, especially when you consider them from a Japanese perspective. For instance 廣 → 广 makes sense until you consider how many other kanji use that radical, and 寧 → 宁 makes even less sense considering the meanings. Moreover, むしろ should just be in hiragana anyways and 寧日 means peaceful day which matches the simple kanji while having nothing to do with the usual 寧 meaning, so use the simple one instead! Sheesh.
So yeah, simplified Chinese characters aren't my cup of china, but Japanese lingual-finaglers did a good job of simplifying a few kanji about a hundred years back and it's time to finish the job. For instance 虫 used to be 蟲 and 国 used to be 國. Those are simplifications that work for us mnemonic-makers. More of that, please.
As for readings, we can keep all the kunyomi you want, as long as we have okurigana to remind us. For instance 前売 should always be 前売り(a real word that I suspect exists because someone, a genius of my ownmold, realized the bother too), and 前え売り would be even better. Let's just get as many okurigana on the outside of a kanji as possible. Why do we still use kanji, besides the fact that they look pretty, if they are so troublesome? I'll remind you: a language swimming in homophones. We need kanji.
The onyomi, meanwhile, should be congealed down to just one for each kanji. This will mean 生 is only read せい for instance (and all compounds that have it as a main element should be pronounced the same). But 生 reminds me, it's a real jerky kanji. I want some radicals added to it depending on what kind of 生 we are talking about. ナマ? キ? Use a radical or okurigana to give us a clue!
It would be nice if we could get all particles to live in hiragana land too.
That's all for now, but what bugs yous about English/Japanese? Oh, one more: Don't say オッス at night, punks. Just kidding, by that logic I could no longer say howdy.
English: Get rid of the plural forms of nouns. Trust me, we are already halfway there. Consider: I like cheesecake vs. I like cheesecakes. Which is correct, and which do you use? Let's face it, we use and drop the plural at random. And don't even get me started on uncountable nouns. I'm looking at you, rice. Also, most of our loanwords can't decide if they have a plural form. Moai. Moais.
"But Clay, we need our plural(s)", I hear you say, your monocles popping out of your eyes in horror. Bah. Plural nouns are as redundant as your extra monocle. We can tell everything from be-verbs and pronouns. "I curled two cat. They were light." Totally clear; we don't need an s.
We could try using plurals whenever the context somehow isn't clear if you're gonna whine about it. "Cats," he grunted as he curled another... Or, we could take a page from Japanese and use grouping suffixes (Japanese has no real plurals! Discuss amongst yourselves because I am a little verklempt): "Cat-kind," he grunted...
I still feel like keeping plural forms of pronouns and the singular "a" though, to keep things clear. "It was pretty cat" is too weird (my students would disagree though). As long as we're on pronouns, let's get a proper plural you. "Yous" sounds too gangster, so let's all agree that "guys" is ripe for losing all of it's political-incorrectness and being a valid word.
Regardless of these suggestions, the internets stays as the internets. Cause I loves the internets.
So long and thanks for all the fish(es). Oh wait, gotta fix Japanese too...
--
Japanese: The
I don't like a lot of simplified Chinese characters because they get stripped to meaningless squiggles, especially when you consider them from a Japanese perspective. For instance 廣 → 广 makes sense until you consider how many other kanji use that radical, and 寧 → 宁 makes even less sense considering the meanings. Moreover, むしろ should just be in hiragana anyways and 寧日 means peaceful day which matches the simple kanji while having nothing to do with the usual 寧 meaning, so use the simple one instead! Sheesh.
So yeah, simplified Chinese characters aren't my cup of china, but Japanese lingual-finaglers did a good job of simplifying a few kanji about a hundred years back and it's time to finish the job. For instance 虫 used to be 蟲 and 国 used to be 國. Those are simplifications that work for us mnemonic-makers. More of that, please.
As for readings, we can keep all the kunyomi you want, as long as we have okurigana to remind us. For instance 前売 should always be 前売り(a real word that I suspect exists because someone, a genius of my ownmold, realized the bother too), and 前え売り would be even better. Let's just get as many okurigana on the outside of a kanji as possible. Why do we still use kanji, besides the fact that they look pretty, if they are so troublesome? I'll remind you: a language swimming in homophones. We need kanji.
The onyomi, meanwhile, should be congealed down to just one for each kanji. This will mean 生 is only read せい for instance (and all compounds that have it as a main element should be pronounced the same). But 生 reminds me, it's a real jerky kanji. I want some radicals added to it depending on what kind of 生 we are talking about. ナマ? キ? Use a radical or okurigana to give us a clue!
It would be nice if we could get all particles to live in hiragana land too.
That's all for now, but what bugs yous about English/Japanese? Oh, one more: Don't say オッス at night, punks. Just kidding, by that logic I could no longer say howdy.
June 30, 2008
Bakemono
You see what happens when you let paperwork pile up?!Lately, found this boys' manga, which despite the silly haircut, is pretty sold for a boys' manga. From it, I learned a new 4 character idiom: 魑魅魍魎 (chimimouryou) spirits of the rivers and mountains, or in other words, all the yokai of the land. These days, it is often used to describe the profane world with it's politics, money-hungry businesses, and bullying. One idiom often uttered in such situations is 魑魅魍魎が跳梁跋扈する (the demons are rampant). Or, to use another yokai-flavored idiom, I bet one could say 魑魅魍魎が百鬼夜行する (pretty much the same, though you could say it means the demons are plotting). Google says it's okay!
To learn more about 百鬼夜行, go here. BTW, Jeff, if you ever read this post, know now that you have the onus of explaining 跳梁跋扈; I'm not the guy with a yo-ji blog.
Finally, you might also like these old prints of Japanese creepies available online.
June 26, 2008
This is Not the Japanese I Signed on for
So I thought since the Daily Yomiuri offers feeds now I would try it out and try to read a newspaper article a day. But then I get to the headline.
Think I'll stick to novels and manga for now, as last I checked, the most complicated financial term I knew in either language was "mutual fund".
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BTW, I haven't had the confidence to invest at all this year. I asked the guy that set up my mutual funds at the bank about it, and he used a bunch of words I didn't know along with "strategy". Ergo my lack of financial planning this year. On the one hand, Americas' economy sucking makes what I already invested look dangerously pittanceful [neologism], but on the other, the more it sucks in America, the stronger my yen is here, at least for now. Maybe, if the American economy gets really bad, it will actually be a good time to invest and I can pull a grandpa Forbes. That's the ticket!
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Edit: I just finished reading a different article, and learned the word 拉致問題. Can you guess what recent story I was reading about? My brain is sleepy and limp now. I take fall down sleep time good.
Me: Oh geeze, what is that again, Rikaichan? Foreign product something or othe--
Rikaichan says: 商品先物取引 しょうひんさきものとりひき (n) commodity futures
Me: gawugljl [commence brain-melt]
Think I'll stick to novels and manga for now, as last I checked, the most complicated financial term I knew in either language was "mutual fund".
--
BTW, I haven't had the confidence to invest at all this year. I asked the guy that set up my mutual funds at the bank about it, and he used a bunch of words I didn't know along with "strategy". Ergo my lack of financial planning this year. On the one hand, Americas' economy sucking makes what I already invested look dangerously pittanceful [neologism], but on the other, the more it sucks in America, the stronger my yen is here, at least for now. Maybe, if the American economy gets really bad, it will actually be a good time to invest and I can pull a grandpa Forbes. That's the ticket!
--
Edit: I just finished reading a different article, and learned the word 拉致問題. Can you guess what recent story I was reading about? My brain is sleepy and limp now. I take fall down sleep time good.
June 24, 2008
Gaijin Can Understand Our Inscrutable Society?!
Found a mildly disappointing, yet not surprising, survey today as translated by Ken at What Japan Thinks. Take a look at this list of things foreigners can do to surprise Japanese people:
One of the things I liked about our new textbooks was the chapter with the foreigner complaining about being asked if she uses chopsticks all the time. I used that as a spring board for a lesson about what is rude in both countries and what isn't and the difference. It's hard to explain why the chopstick and language compliments are "rude" though.
Number 10 is one of my favorite activities.
1 Writing difficult kanjiLet's analyze. Numbers 1-5 I can kind of understand. After that a lot of them are either quaint or severely underestimating foreigners. We do our homework before we come, Japan. And I could swear America invented #8. #16 is not something I ever thought of as cultural. #15 makes no sense.
2 Bowing on the telephone
3 Using dialect
4 Speaking Japanese fluently
5 Using proverbs, idioms
6 Eating natto
7 Habitually using chopsticks
8 Getting drunk with tie tied around head
9 Using Japanese era dates, not Western calendar
10 Singing enka, folk songs
11 Passing through crowds with a “suimasen” and the one-handed chop
12 Sitting “seiza”
13 Slurping noodles
14 Dancing a bon dance
15 Using a toothpick
16 After a bath drinking fruity milk with one hand on hip
17 Sleeping on a futon on the floor
18 Taking off shoes before going indoors
19 Wearing a kimono, yukata
20 Queueing properly
One of the things I liked about our new textbooks was the chapter with the foreigner complaining about being asked if she uses chopsticks all the time. I used that as a spring board for a lesson about what is rude in both countries and what isn't and the difference. It's hard to explain why the chopstick and language compliments are "rude" though.
Number 10 is one of my favorite activities.
June 23, 2008
Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
Are the words of Thoreau I believe (I think we could do with one less simplify in there though). While I would love nothing more than to live in a wabisabi little house in the woods, I must bust my chops soon as I move to Saitama and become a student again. The TV is not going with me. And I think the wii must be sold off. I love it, but I don't use it enough to justify it's existence. I've had no motivation to do wii fit either.. I may still buy a wiimote to play emulated games with via Darwin. But it's gonna be hard to find someone willing to pay a fair price for all these games. Other things I may try giving up for as long as standable include internet and cell phones. Doubt I'll get far without those. I'll always find ways to blog though.
This video fits into this post better than the last one:
This video fits into this post better than the last one:
June 22, 2008
Prodigously Panoramific
I upload them so you don't have to! What? I dunno. This is my life in a wide angle.
Okay, this and the next one aren't panoramas, but are in fact my graduation messages for my graduating kids last go around. All funny-looking kanji were done by my own blighted hand. This is why I came to Japan, so I could do these two specific graduation messages.
One reason why I take bike rides.
So I says to him, I says, "that's some handsome hay."
From Nagasaki's artificial Holland. Expensive town; you have to pay just to walk around it. Two more:
Tara, the sea, and the mountains.
Okay, this and the next one aren't panoramas, but are in fact my graduation messages for my graduating kids last go around. All funny-looking kanji were done by my own blighted hand. This is why I came to Japan, so I could do these two specific graduation messages.
One reason why I take bike rides.
So I says to him, I says, "that's some handsome hay."
From Nagasaki's artificial Holland. Expensive town; you have to pay just to walk around it. Two more:
Tara, the sea, and the mountains.
My personal idiom
If you had to choose on idiom to describe yourself, what would it be? I'm talking 四字熟語 here, but naturally I don't expect everybody, even Japanese people to know them. Anyways, mine is 神出鬼没. It kinda means appear like a god and disappear like a demon. And that kinda means just randomly pop in and out of places in a surprising way*.
I chose it because I have some sort of ethereal ability to sneak up on people. Interestingly, I don't think I always had this ability, but possibly got it from a movie. I can't remember what the movie was✝, but in it a cop was describing a tense showdown with a person that had a gun or something. He described pulling back his presence and trying not to exacerbate the situation. When he finally spoke, he startled the person who had somehow forgotten he was there. I thought it was a pretty cool scene at the time, and after that, as if I had somehow learned the technique, I mysteriously started surprising people. Usually people will freak out because they never hear me coming. I can't really turn it off, and I have no conscious control over it, so it's not that useful for situations where I want to be stealthy. Which brings us to the next part.
There is another aspect to the appearing, and so there is another part to my presence. That thing about coming in like a god. I am also very visible. Especially in classroom settings. Whether they liked me or (more rarely, thank goodness) hated me, teachers always took notice of me. People form strong impressions of me. I can't call it charisma, because it's not necessary positive. The problem is only worse in Japan, where I am very visible (yet I still sneak up on everybody here). Anyways, that's how I appropriate the god portion of the idiom. Then I disappear...
In daily life, I use my odd foreign part time teacher status to appear around the school, investigating how things work or being seen reading books. I also don't like attention that much and so do my exiting like a phantom quite often. I remember someone in college complaining that I thought I was Batman. Sorry commissioner, no time for small talk.
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*: Some other definitions--incidentally this is one of the first four character idioms I ever learned in Japan:
現れたり隠れたり所在が知れないことをいう。
Appearing in unexpected places and at unexpected moments; with phantom-like agility and elusiveness
✝: If anybody know that movie, let me know.
I chose it because I have some sort of ethereal ability to sneak up on people. Interestingly, I don't think I always had this ability, but possibly got it from a movie. I can't remember what the movie was✝, but in it a cop was describing a tense showdown with a person that had a gun or something. He described pulling back his presence and trying not to exacerbate the situation. When he finally spoke, he startled the person who had somehow forgotten he was there. I thought it was a pretty cool scene at the time, and after that, as if I had somehow learned the technique, I mysteriously started surprising people. Usually people will freak out because they never hear me coming. I can't really turn it off, and I have no conscious control over it, so it's not that useful for situations where I want to be stealthy. Which brings us to the next part.
There is another aspect to the appearing, and so there is another part to my presence. That thing about coming in like a god. I am also very visible. Especially in classroom settings. Whether they liked me or (more rarely, thank goodness) hated me, teachers always took notice of me. People form strong impressions of me. I can't call it charisma, because it's not necessary positive. The problem is only worse in Japan, where I am very visible (yet I still sneak up on everybody here). Anyways, that's how I appropriate the god portion of the idiom. Then I disappear...
In daily life, I use my odd foreign part time teacher status to appear around the school, investigating how things work or being seen reading books. I also don't like attention that much and so do my exiting like a phantom quite often. I remember someone in college complaining that I thought I was Batman. Sorry commissioner, no time for small talk.
--
*: Some other definitions--incidentally this is one of the first four character idioms I ever learned in Japan:
✝: If anybody know that movie, let me know.
June 21, 2008
Update on the だ is な thing [Japanese]
More fun with copulas, which are interchangeable but not.
In a previous post I mused,
Two points on which I was wrong: だ does not become の under any circumstances, and だから is not conjugatively related to なので. But I am more than ever sure that だ becomes な and that they and the other copula are helper verbs. I just read in one of my books the following:「〜だ」は「の」の前では「〜な」にかわります。
Also something that a little Jeffy bird helped me to realize is that, unless they are strong as nouns, without a な or a だ the 形容動詞s are like half-living lingual things. The な／だ on the end is a little helper verb that gives them life. I spent a long time thinking things like ます and です and だ aren't verbs, but they really do fit most of the description. The only thing is the limits on their conjugation forms.
Anyways, it's just my Western brain's systematizing of it all, but still.
As for my other copula curiosity of late, I haven't found much on the である／だ＝なり front, but I did find this sentence tonight: 時は金なり. Time is money. I imagine なり shows up a lot in Shakespeare translated to Japanese.
In a previous post I mused,
Then I came to feel a few minutes ago that だ becomes な／の in a slight prettying up of statements and explanations. Consider: 〜なの could be from (a hypothetical)〜だの and in actual reality we do know that だから changes to (な)ので. I don't know. Maybe this is a crazy theory. It only really helps for remembering anyways. If you remember things in a circuitous manner like me.
Two points on which I was wrong: だ does not become の under any circumstances, and だから is not conjugatively related to なので. But I am more than ever sure that だ becomes な and that they and the other copula are helper verbs. I just read in one of my books the following:「〜だ」は「の」の前では「〜な」にかわります。
Also something that a little Jeffy bird helped me to realize is that, unless they are strong as nouns, without a な or a だ the 形容動詞s are like half-living lingual things. The な／だ on the end is a little helper verb that gives them life. I spent a long time thinking things like ます and です and だ aren't verbs, but they really do fit most of the description. The only thing is the limits on their conjugation forms.
Anyways, it's just my Western brain's systematizing of it all, but still.
As for my other copula curiosity of late, I haven't found much on the である／だ＝なり front, but I did find this sentence tonight: 時は金なり. Time is money. I imagine なり shows up a lot in Shakespeare translated to Japanese.
June 19, 2008
Couple Vids and my NPR Thing
A couple vids I found interesting. The first one is from Sayonara Zestubou Sensei (Farewell, Mr. Despair), done for some reason in Mike Mignola's idiosyncratic Hellboy style. Do Japanese people even know what Hellboy is?
Next is a somehow touching 思い出億千万 short. The original song is from Megaman. He is a bit of a meme in Japan.
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I will probably be interviewed by NPR soon. Come to think of it, this will earn me major cool points with myself. I will totally be my hero for a day. Anyways, it's about Japanese game shows. What shows do you watch? I've gotta compile a list of what I think is the most popular and impacting...
Next is a somehow touching 思い出億千万 short. The original song is from Megaman. He is a bit of a meme in Japan.
--
I will probably be interviewed by NPR soon. Come to think of it, this will earn me major cool points with myself. I will totally be my hero for a day. Anyways, it's about Japanese game shows. What shows do you watch? I've gotta compile a list of what I think is the most popular and impacting...
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