Vocab from the 2011 Quake and Fukushima Crisis

I'm just going to provide some short translations of interesting words I found on the Practical Japanese blog, which has many helpful topical entries each day. Sub it if you know how to read Japanese. Here we go!

安否 (anpi, safe+no): safety, well-being. Think safe or not.

耐震性 (taishinsei, (x-proof+quake)+nature): Earthquake-proofness.

憂慮 (yuuro, anxious+fear): anxiety or concern. The sentence 憂慮すべき状況 would be "disturbing circumstances," or more literally "things are in a state you should fear."

空焚き (karadaki, empty+cook): heating an empty vessel that would usually have water, or that has lost it. Seen in 空焚き状態, the reactors being hot last night without an incoming water supply to cool them.

不透明感 (futoumei, opaque+ kan, feeling): Unclear feeling. Being unsure what to do next. Indecisiveness.

点検漏れ (tenkenmore, (spot+examine)+omission): Something that was overlooked during a check. A blind-spot in the prevention plans. Like a tsunami taking out your generators after an earthquake.

多選 (tasen, many+election): Being elected many times. I think this one refers to the crazy governor of Tokyo.

Well, my lunch-break is over, so more later!

Japanese Study Links

Sign/Ad J | J Slang | J News w/Pics | J Vids
Karaoke | J Commercials | Let's Yoji! | Kanji

Heisig-Anki Mashup and One More Really Good Tool

The desktop of a Japanese-studyaholic.

Non-Japanese studiers, my apologies. Hey, we'll have a youtube video up for you tomorrow to satisify your watch-Clay-be-dumb needs. But right now I need to show my ignorance to the world in my usual linguistic-related manner...
--
I've become a big supporter of the Heisig method recently. I have a friend here at the school that complains it is too late to try the Heisig meathod. But I've found it to not be a problem to throw away my old mnemonics, or keep them, depending on how useful they are. It's quite easy. There are plenty of little things that I don't agree with about the books (mostly the adherence to Jyouyou of the first book, but occasionally mnemonic-wise too), but overall I find his methods to be best for memorizing, differentiating and being able to actually write kanji by hand. For instance, take 又, the kanji for "again". Now, conventional mnemonic making wisdom would have us use it as "again" in other kanjis and try to make our stories that way. But Heisig came up with a clever thing: he gives lots of kanji a different meaning when they appear as radicals. In this case, 又 becomes a crotch. As you can imagine (literally), this works much better for making outrageous stories. Outrageous or odd=easy to remember. Let me give another example: 池 is pond. The right part is given the arbitrary meaning of scorpion whenever it appears as a radical. But Heisig cautions to not come up with a dull story about how scorpions live in ponds. He suggested a pond being created, drip by drip, from a scorpion's stinger. Now that is an image that sticks. Here's one I thought up for alms (施):

Some people go to the four corners of the compass and recline in the streets to get pity money and alms. If you ignore these loafs, they may slip a scorpion under your door. Such is the price to pay if you scorn a beggar.

I doubled up on meaning for 方 in this one, and added a clue as to the placement of the scorpion radical. In fact, I try to make my story follow the drawing order when possible. In addition, I am sure to picture a gap-toothed miscreant pulling a scorpion out of his dirty coat. For more on the usefulness of vivid mnemonics, I recommend the Derren Brown book Tricks of the Mind. He's the guy that did the zombie-related hypnosis vid that was all over the net a while back, BTW, FTW, ROFL, A*.

Anyways, as the title promised, here is a link to an Anki decks one of which you can use to study kanji, using Heisig's keywords. It is tagged throughout according to JLPT level. I of course am using it to get the 1kyu kanji down pat. I'm studying 50 a day (via the settings I chose). My study method is as follows: read the "English reading", recall the story, draw the kanji, check and circle, with a red pen, parts that are sticklers for my memory (this circling-thing is not part of the Heisig method, but actually another method developed by a Japanese professor and made into a DS game I happen to own). If I can't recall anything, I use the Heisig number (shown automatically at answer time) to do a search in my PDF version of the books (really, a fast process with OS X).
There is only one side to these cards; if you can reproduce the kanji, you haven't much need to check the other; try reading afterwards and the kanji you have mastered should be salient. Also, I have tagged a few kanji with "p" for "primitive" (to which the deck is schedualed to give priority), but this deck was not originally made by me, and so there are tons of kanji that could potentially get this treatment (there are also a lot of annoying commas where spaces should be; I got rid of some). I also tag kanji that I don't want to bother with at this point in my kanji career due my suspicion that I won't see them on the test. If you download the deck, keep in mind x cards are automatically suspended from the schedules.
Feel free to modify those cards, especially if you feel, as I do, that the readings can be a bit off. I often check the kanji in the program that I am going to mention in a second:


On to that second tool I put in the title: a program which is, as far as I know, only for Macs. It's called JEDict. Recently, Deas mentioned a Mac app to help one see kanji better and thus illuminate stroke order, but I feel this is vastly superior (sorry Deas). For one thing, it will show you the stroke order and animate said strokes. It will show you the radicals that make up a kanji. It will let you grab those radicals and copy them or put them in the creation boxes to see related kanji. And that is just a small part to JEDict, because it is a dictionary. It's been invaluable during these internet-less days (heck, faster than a WWWJDIC search). It keeps track of your clipboard, so if you copy text anywhere on your computer, it is ready to search those words for you. JEDict is so dreamy... sigh... why haven't you downloaded it yet? I really like the feature that allows me to save terms. I save tons of yojijukugos. Gotta keep up with the neighbors.
--
There are other things that have helped me with kanji a lot over the last year. I got used to drawing them in the first place thanks to Kakitorikun　and my DS dictionary, which is still super-useful--I haven't felt the need to upgrade to a "real" denshijisho. I also find my kanji textbook to be useful, but only because of the daily quizzes in class are on it, and I also have to write down all the definitions on a worksheet. So what can I say except, go to Japanese school. :/
--
Next time: We'll make our own primitive!
*:A stands for acronym
Pics in case you missed the links to them in the text:

The Post Where I fix Japanese AND English Over a Mug of Cocoa

If you could fix a language, what would you do to make it better? Here are some whimsical thoughts of mine:

English: Get rid of the plural forms of nouns. Trust me, we are already halfway there. Consider: I like cheesecake vs. I like cheesecakes. Which is correct, and which do you use? Let's face it, we use and drop the plural at random. And don't even get me started on uncountable nouns. I'm looking at you, rice. Also, most of our loanwords can't decide if they have a plural form. Moai. Moais.
"But Clay, we need our plural(s)", I hear you say, your monocles popping out of your eyes in horror. Bah. Plural nouns are as redundant as your extra monocle. We can tell everything from be-verbs and pronouns. "I curled two cat. They were light." Totally clear; we don't need an s.

We could try using plurals whenever the context somehow isn't clear if you're gonna whine about it. "Cats," he grunted as he curled another... Or, we could take a page from Japanese and use grouping suffixes (Japanese has no real plurals! Discuss amongst yourselves because I am a little verklempt): "Cat-kind," he grunted...
I still feel like keeping plural forms of pronouns and the singular "a" though, to keep things clear. "It was pretty cat" is too weird (my students would disagree though). As long as we're on pronouns, let's get a proper plural you. "Yous" sounds too gangster, so let's all agree that "guys" is ripe for losing all of it's political-incorrectness and being a valid word.
Regardless of these suggestions, the internets stays as the internets. Cause I loves the internets.

So long and thanks for all the fish(es). Oh wait, gotta fix Japanese too...
--

Japanese: The moon-speak characters kanji can stay, but with caveats: 1) We simplify how to write them, and 2) we simplify their readings.
I don't like a lot of simplified Chinese characters because they get stripped to meaningless squiggles, especially when you consider them from a Japanese perspective. For instance 廣 → 广 makes sense until you consider how many other kanji use that radical, and 寧 → 宁 makes even less sense considering the meanings. Moreover, むしろ should just be in hiragana anyways and 寧日 means peaceful day which matches the simple kanji while having nothing to do with the usual 寧 meaning, so use the simple one instead! Sheesh.
So yeah, simplified Chinese characters aren't my cup of china, but Japanese lingual-finaglers did a good job of simplifying a few kanji about a hundred years back and it's time to finish the job. For instance 虫 used to be 蟲 and 国 used to be 國. Those are simplifications that work for us mnemonic-makers. More of that, please.

As for readings, we can keep all the kunyomi you want, as long as we have okurigana to remind us. For instance 前売 should always be 前売り(a real word that I suspect exists because someone, a genius of my ownmold, realized the bother too), and 前え売り would be even better. Let's just get as many okurigana on the outside of a kanji as possible. Why do we still use kanji, besides the fact that they look pretty, if they are so troublesome? I'll remind you: a language swimming in homophones. We need kanji.

The onyomi, meanwhile, should be congealed down to just one for each kanji. This will mean 生 is only read せい for instance (and all compounds that have it as a main element should be pronounced the same). But 生 reminds me, it's a real jerky kanji. I want some radicals added to it depending on what kind of 生 we are talking about. ナマ? キ? Use a radical or okurigana to give us a clue!

It would be nice if we could get all particles to live in hiragana land too.

That's all for now, but what bugs yous about English/Japanese? Oh, one more: Don't say オッス at night, punks. Just kidding, by that logic I could no longer say howdy.

10 things I would do if I were Conan Edogawa

10 things I would do if I were Conan Edogawa (even nerdier than the D&D post):

1. Suggest a bath with Ran*
2. Use my genius intellect to make an antidote for my condition, or have the professor do it
3. Test out of elementary school
4. Carry a gun and use it whenever I saw the men in black
5. Have the professor build a rocket-pack for me
6. Become world famous for my 10-year-old genius intellect
7. Never go out, because each time I do, somebody dies
8. Internet in the glasses
9. Enjoy the extra youth I've been given (but hey, hasn't it been ten years already?)
10. Drug Ran's dad all the time and make him say funny things

*Don't actually know if a 10 year old kid can get away with this, but they are like family

Enter the Fat Dragon

Sammo Hung is one of my heroes. This playlist is one of his innovative kung-fu comedies. It's always interesting when I recognize a word or kanji somehow due to it's adoption into Japanese.　If you want to use a Chinese word that will be understood and get you erai points with a Japanese person, I suggest 無問題 which is pronounced moumontai and means "no problem". I love it! People know it because it was a title of a rare (in the sense of collaborations) Hong Kong/Japanese comedy movie that just so happened to have a Sammo Hung cameo.

Keep an eye out for the crazy foreigners acting like Chinese villains and vice-versa in Enter the Fat Dragon.

In case you used them...

Certain links are now gone from the sidebar, but here they are in this post, for posterity, or in case anyone was using them. I really do recommend the readings; you're not likely to find a link to the works of Clark Ashton Smith elsewhere on the web.


Occult Texts
Clark Ashton Smith
Edgar Allen Poe
Arthur Machen
H.P. Lovecraft
Lord Dunsany

Non-cthulhian stuff
Sacred Texts
"Koans"
Sci-fi

Entertainment
Daily Portal Z
Midnight Eye
Twitchfilms
Same Hat!
Ryuganji

ESL Teaching
JET Programme
Ohayo,Sensei!
Genki English◎
ESLKidsstuff
NATTO◎
ESLcafe

Posting about add-ons and scripts again

Once again blogging about extentions. I do this for my own benefit too, cause I use many computers between schools and download extensions at all of them.

Extensions:
All-in-one gestures (disable all unused guestures) Right click and make a squiggle. I use it to close tabs.
greasemonkey You need it for the scripts in the scripts part of this article.
rikaichan (with names dictionary, press return to switch) The best tool on the net for reading any Japanese webpage. Or even mine sometimes.
submit to tab
Scribefire Useful when I post for wordpress blogs like Japanprobe
foxmarks Syncs my midget porn bookmarks wherever I go.
GButts All your google pages next to the URL bar or wherever.
Resurrect Pages Useful for dugg-to death pages.
tab history New tabs have the history of the page that spawned them.
tab mix plus Essential.
Context search Lets one search highlighted text with any search engine they have installed into the search bar.


Greasemonkey scripts:
google cache continue
Pagerization
wikipedia auto-login
google MP3 Puts a little play button next to MP3 links you can listen with.
Textarea backup Essential for not losing stuff you said or want to say again.

How to study for the JLPT--some ideas

I am starting to feel like I can actually pass 2kyu! Here is how I think you could achieve it too (you can adjust/search around resources I will provide you with for other kyus).

1. Use Anki.
It's free. You can adjust the scheduling. Tip the guy if you pass, or just on principal. I have been covering around 300-500 words a day for the last week or so. I got through all the words, and am now concentrating on the sticklers.

2. Use online resources to populate your Anki deck(s). Some I have used include:
grammar and other grammar
I supplement this with a good book, cause these grammar sites be missing the nuances that make grammars corrects.
vocabulary
The nice thing I discovered about Renshuu.org is that the compact lists have tabs (spaces Anki can understand) built in. You can cut and paste these to a text document and then import it into Anki. I check words (to make sure I am not studying unnecessary words) against this online list, and tag cards I don't currently need with "suspend"
Me

3. Suppliment with Kakitory-kun.
Note: Kakitori-kun is not real study per say, but quite useful for remembering the differences between similar kanji. I skipped ahead to the sixth grade after finishing the 1st grade (I only do 熟語ドリル).

4. Test yourself to know your weak points.
All three aspects of the JLPT can be self-tested here. It helps you know how far along you are (my kanji is currently in passing range, the other aspects not so much, but I know I have time to bring them up).

5: Study for about 15 minutes at a time.
Fellow mac users, I recommend the timer feature of Alarm Clock 2 (freeware).
Then do some exercise between study sessions.
BTW, this program is really cool. It can get you up on time on test day to the itunes song of your choice.

6: Get out.
My head is swimming with Japanese right now. I need to see people, just like on the TV shows that are so popular these days.

7: Collapse your feedreader.
View your feedreader in collapsed (list) view to save time. Internets love to stealses our precious timeses!

8: Don't blog too much.
Especially don't waste your time making lists.

Top Ten Films for Japanese Culture

I made a list of what I thought are good films for experiencing Japanese culture. And they are entertaining. But what do you think? What would you choose?
Suicide Club
Taste of Tea
Swing Girls
Kamakazi Girls
Kikujiro
Tanpopo
Battle Royal
Izu
Dead or Alive 2
Gozu

I thought about Ringu as well, but the Japanese don't seem very connected to their horror traditions in every day life.

Top ways to die

Wow, I thought I would write a few, and the list got spontaneously long. Now, lest you think I'm morbid, keep in mind I'm not looking for death. In fact, I'm sure this list will show that only the best and most rare of deaths will do for me. I won't leave until I've gotten some satisfaction. By the way, asking someone how they would die is one of my favorite party games; it reveals someone's character, and a little of what they find interesting or humorous. And if you can convince them to make a list like the top 50 things to do before you die, well... bonus bonding I guess.
Top ways to die:

Whilst kissing at ground zero as a nuke drops. No seriously, that would be a heck of a tingling sensation. Keep your eyes closed.

Running into a crowd of zombies with lit dynamite, to serve as a distraction so the young couple can survive.

Right after giving birth. And you are a man.

While fighting the Russian from Rocky IV.

By having your senses overload by the perfect taste/sight/sensation.

Being so glad and content that you simply go, "Well, it's time," and you close your eyes and you are gone.

In space. In pretty much any situation, as long as your last breath comes while you gaze at the earth from above.

Riding on the back of a nuke. I mean, if you happen to be there anyway. Yeeee ha!

Disgustingly wealthy 80 year old man... 20 year old woman... and their honeymoon. We know the cliche. But I promise it would be better to be a 20 year old man dying of the same cause. The nuke picture works for this one too. Yeeee ha!

Having been part of a duo of galaxy-conquering evil, then becoming good at the last minute and killing your evil boss, then dying in your sons' arms after last minute reconciling. And then you get to be a force ghost, and be all young looking again (it will take 25 years for them to edit that part in, but hey).

As long as I'm mentioning Sci-fi, Leto Atreities II had a pretty cool death, spreading his consciousness throughout Dune as he broke apart into sandtrout.

With a sigh and a smile.

Sword fight. Mortal wound. Beheading the bad guy. Falling to your knees and stopping in that position statuesquely. In that order.

Getting struck by lightning and turning into a rainbow. Wait no, that movie sucked. Frickin' Powder. I want my two dollars for the rental back. Two dollars!

Jumping on a grenade to save your friends.

Whilst wrestling a Tyrannosaurus.

From laughing too much.

From the ultimate suffering. As long as you get to come back and spout ultra-quotable lines. Yeah, we gotta give Jesus props for this one too.

Getting killed by a god. Neil Gaiman's logic: you served the god's purpose and your belief in them is undeniable, so you're guaranteed a place in heaven. Plus, it's pretty novel to be killed by a god in this day and age.

Having a write-off with the zombie of William Shakespeare. He bites you, and you expire, but the judge still declares you the posthumous winner, cause your writing was just that good. Substitute things like "martial-arts contest" and "zombie Bruce Lee" and so on ad infinitum.

Honorable mention from history: I hear Charlemagne died on his throne, but he was so scary looking, no one dared to see if he was just sleeping or not for like three days.

Got some good ways to die? List 'em in the comments before I kill you. I hope I got a spit-take out of someone for the pregnant man one.

Unplanned wonders of the world

Thought I'd direct you to a few sights. First is the shoe tree. It's quite beautiful. Next is the gum tree (not quite as beautiful, but its worth a look). Follow that up with the valley of the tires. And finally, the little known fact that the video game E.T. for the Atari was so overproduced and rejected by the public at large, that millions of cartriges were buried in a landfill in Arizona. The debacle also crippled the American video game industry for a long time, giving Japan the edge. Thank goodness; otherwise we might not have all your base. Anyways, it's the subject of a music video you should see.

Express yourself

I know there is an artist in everyone waiting for an outlet. Check out these links for your inner child's sake.

First up: Pixel Tees. Make t-shirts a pixel at a time. Then buy them, sell them, or check out other people's shirts. As long as I'm mentioning unique clothes, I feel I should tell you about Low Tee, where every swim suit is guaranteed to be one of a kind.



What about the body as art? I recommend checking out The Hand Collector. Now I know it sounds like an 80's B-flick, but it's actually a cool project that collects pictures of palms with drawings on them. This seems like a Brit kind of thing to do. Do you ever read my blog anymore Brit? The blogosphere wishes you would visit more often.
Anyways, it reminded me of shakeskin, which is sadly not for those of us that have a fetish for 300 hundred pound women on trampolines. What? Don't judge me. I've linked to shakeskin before and I still need to get around to contributing my photo.

Finally, you should visit flipbook and do some doodling. The site is in serious need of some talented contributions, which is a shame, because it is such a cool idea. And you're safe from the nun when you doodle online, as opposed to the margins your text book from your private Catholic school days.

Things I've learned in Thailand

There are legitimate massages.
The foot massage is the best.
The full body massage leaves you sore.
It may have something to do with the full nelson.
Being sick doesn't help the soreness.

The older and dirtier an old man looks, the better the chance that a young (working) girl will be on his arm.
It helps if he has a limp.

There are seven elevens in every country.
Falafel stands serve good pitas.
Take lots of spices on your pita just to be safe.

Lost in drunklation

I must say that I've definitely got enough of a grip on Japanese now to have a conversation with just about anyone. It helps that everyone knows a few english words too. But last night I marveled at my own fluency.
The teachers gathered in Kashima for an enki. There was squid so fresh that it was literally still moving. I didn't have any of that. Impressed them by taking a big wad of wasabi an putting it straight into my mouth.
Oh, and be careful if you're ever in Japan. Just cause a woman doesn't have a ring doesn't mean she's not married.

Later, Karaoke. But my voice was gone. And I just couldn't hit the requisit high notes for "Thriller,""Staying Alive" and "Take on Me" Good thing most of my coworkers were probably too drunk to notice.

Around midnight:
"eh... wwhat iss your god?" came the drunken slur of a fellow teacher; a middle aged Japanese man that had been working on me all night to convince me to drink. He knew that religion was my reason for abstaining.
"My God?" I said. "My God is love."
"Love?"
"Yes, love." (prounounced ai in Japanese).
"Eh... I... love... drink."
--
In the spirit of karaoke, I have a challenge for you all, go to this site and find the year that you graduated by tweaking the address to the appropriate year. Then put the list of the top 100 songs from that year on your blog and cross out the songs you don't like (use the < strike > and < /strike > tags to do this, sans spaces around "strike" naturally).
As you can see, I'm a crumogeon that hates pop culture.
this post continues in extend version...

Top songs of '99

1. Believe, Cher
2. No Scrubs, TLC
3. Angel Of Mine, Monica
4. Heartbreak Hotel, Whitney Houston
5. ...Baby One More Time, Britney Spears
6. Kiss Me, Sixpence None The Richer
7. Genie In A Bottle, Christina Aguilera
8. Every Morning, Sugar Ray
9. Nobody's Supposed To Be Here, Deborah Cox
10. Livin' La Vida Loca, Ricky Martin
11. Where My Girls At?, 702
12. If You Had My Love, Jennifer Lopez
13. Slide, Goo Goo Dolls
14. Have You Ever?, Brandy
15. I Want It That Way, Backstreet Boys
16. I'm Your Angel, R. Kelly and Celine Dion
17. All Star, Smash Mouth
18. Angel, Sarah McLachlan
19. Smooth, Santana Featuring Rob Thomas
20. Unpretty, TLC
21. Bills, Bills, Bills, Destiny's Child
22. Save Tonight, Eagle-Eye Cherry
23. Last Kiss, Pearl Jam
24. Fortunate, Maxwell
25. All I Have To Give, Backstreet Boys
26. Bailamos, Enrique Iglesias
27. What's It Gonna Be?!, Busta Rhymes Featuring Janet
28. What It's Like, Everlast
29. Fly Away, Lenny Kravitz
30. Someday, Sugar Ray
31. Lately, Divine
32. That Don't Impress Me Much, Shania Twain
33. Wild Wild West, Will Smith Featuring Dru Hill and Kool Moe Dee
34. Scar Tissue, Red Hot Chili Peppers
35. Heartbreaker, Mariah Carey Featuring Jay-Z
36. I Still Believe, Mariah Carey
37. The Hardest Thing, 98 Degrees
38. Summer Girls, LFO *shudder*
39. Can I Get A..., Jay-Z Featuring Amil (Of Major Coinz) and Ja
40. Jumper, Third Eye Blind
41. Doo Wop (That Thing), Lauryn Hill
42. Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of...), Lou Bega
43. Sweet Lady, Tyrese
44. It's Not Right But It's Okay, Whitney Houston
45. (God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You, 'N Sync
46. Lullaby, Shawn Mullins
47. Anywhere, 112 Featuring Lil'Z
48. Tell Me It's Real, K-Ci and JoJo
49. Back 2 Good, Matchbox 20
50. 808, Blaque
51. She's So High, Tal Bachman
52. She's All I Ever Had, Ricky Martin
53. Miami, Will Smith
54. Hands, Jewel
55. Who Dat, JT Money Featuring Sole
56. Please Remember Me, Tim McGraw
57. From This Moment On, Shania Twain
58. Love Like This, Faith Evans
59. You, Jesse Powell
60. Trippin', Total Featuring Missy Elliott
61. If You (Lovin' Me), Silk
62. Ex-Factor, Lauryn Hill
63. Give It To You, Jordan Knight
64. Black Balloon, Goo Goo Dolls
65. Spend My Life With You, Eric Benet Featuring Tamia
66. These Are The Times, Dru Hill
67. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing, Mark Chesnutt
68. I Do (Cherish You), 98 Degrees
69. Because Of You, 98 Degrees
70. I Will Remember You (Live), Sarah McLachlan
71. Chante's Got A Man, Chante Moore
72. Happily Ever After, Case
73. My Love Is Your Love, Whitney Houston
74. All Night Long, Faith Evans Featuring Puff Daddy
75. Back That Thang Up, Juvenile Featuring Mannie Fresh and Lil' Wayne
76. Almost Doesn't Count, Brandy
77. Man! I Feel Like A Woman!, Shania Twain
78. Steal My Sunshine, Len
79. I Need To Know, Marc Anthony
80. So Anxious, Ginuwine
81. Faded Pictures, Case and Joe
v82. Back At One, Brian McKnight
83. When A Woman's Fed Up, R. Kelly
84. How Forever Feels, Kenny Chesney
85. Amazed, Lonestar
86. Sometimes, Britney Spears
87. Ghetto Cowboy, Mo Thugs Family Featuring Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
88. Out Of My Head, Fastball
89. Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem), Jay-Z
90. Jamboree, Naughty By Nature Featuring Zhane
91. Take Me There, BLACKstreet and Mya Featuring Mase and Blinky Blink
92. Stay The Same, Joey McIntyre
93. Lesson In Leavin', Jo Dee Messina
94. Iris, Goo Goo Dolls
95. Satisfy You, Puff Daddy Featuring R. Kelly
96. Better Days (And The Bottom Drops Out), Citizen King
97. Music Of My Heart, 'N Sync and Gloria Estefan
98. Write This Down, George Strait
99. When You Believe, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey
100. God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You, Alabama Featuring 'N Sync

Things to do when bored on a densha (Japanese train)

I have to sit for about an hour each way whenever I visit Saga city. And seeing as how my job and social life demand I commute periodically, I've been coming up with ways to pass the time.

1: Pretend that the train is a surfboard and stand in the space between the doors while riding the "wave." This is suprisingly fun. Even better if you can see out the front of the train.

2: Sit next to women. It makes them uncomfortable a little, but part of my job is to break down barriers, right? Besides, it's funny to watch them squirm. Or sometimes they will sleep and drool which also entertains me, which brings me to my next one...

3: Sleep. If you can manage it. My anxious nature prevents this, but none of the Japanese seem to get proper sleep and so they pass out on the train. Lucky...

4: Study Japanese. You're gonna need it anyways. I'm rather proud of the fact that I figured out how to ride trains to the destinations I want at the times I need, and my abiity to ask if I'm on the right train when all else fails. I'm even learning Kanji. Some stations have weird names, like Ryuuoo (竜+(king kanji);), which means dragon king. But I digress...

5: Wave back at the kids that are waving frantically at you from the next car. For ten minutes. Okay, it's not that exciting kids.

6: Listen to iPod. Sweet, sweet ipod. I've never had an infatuation with a mechanical device before the pod.
Huge digression: However, it cheats at solitaire. I swear. The pod's games are all evil. I need to download some more ebooks to the pod and read them. I was reading Hagakure's Way of the samurai a while ago, and I realized how strange it was that hundreds of years back, an old man wrote a treatise on Bushido, and in modern times some white kid was reading his words through a little box powered by electrons.
Then earlier this week I reflected upon how strange it must be that I was most likely the first person to listen to an ipod at these ancient mountain shrines, and certainly the first to listen to Fish Heads.</Digression>
--
no happy ending for you!
So I got my hair cut yesterday. I was done Japanese style, with the fuzzy, split ends. I was rather disappointed though; while I did get a vigorous shampooing, I didn't get the head massage that I had been told happens.

-->My ugly, out of focus mug with Kawaiifabulous haircut
--
Incidentally, I somehow became the owner of 18 volumes of a manga and a magnetic travelling go board. I guess my homework will be translating these puppies. Now if only I could find someone interested in traveling and playing go...
Did you know there is an entire channel dedicated to the games go and shogi (japanese chess)?

The unique challenges of being a tall, blonde foreigner in Japan

Life's not all roses here in Nippon. I've made a list of some of the challenges you will face should you come here.

1. Really confusing train schedules. Click here to see what I mean. You are allowed to scream.

2. Every five minutes I am offered alcohol, coffee, or ocha (green tea). When I have to politely refuse, they look really sad.

3. Everyone speaks some weird dialect of English over here that sounds like another language or something. Oh wait, it is. Seriously, cogitating the "tte" form of a verb in polite-distal past-tense depending on what gerund precedes it is surprisingly fun*, but very hard to do.


*: Fun in the sense that it's like solving a puzzle on a decoder ring; but every phrase turns out to be, "you are bad at Japanese, please drink more Ovaltine."

4. Not getting invited to parties if you don't drink. But I finally did go to a party with the PTA when the junior high went camping. After the kids were all in bed, the teachers and some parents got together. I didn't drink, but I did enjoy stuffing myself on their food. We're talking all kinds of foods, like Tara-town's Japan-famous crab, and a googolplex of seafoods and meats. The Men turn into 13 year olds when they drink, and brag about how well endowed they are and how they'd like to grab the women on the other side of the room. Tré entertaining.

5. Not knowing if the kids are trying to get you to say something compromising. "Do you like so-and-so?" What, exactly, do you mean by like, kid? Cause I'm pretty sure you just used one of the Japanese words for love...

6.Hitting your head on doors when you walk into a room because you are too tall. Dang, I do this a lot.

7. Using squatting-style toilets. Ew. I had to do this today (at city hall of all places), I don't know if I'm too tall or what, but this was not easy, and I looked like I was breakdancing or dodging bullets in the matrix, or something. And after watching that movie linked right there, I now realize I was facing the wrong direction　Must not touch the ground! I felt better when I got out and all the people from the office gathered around the stall clapping and saying, "Oh, you poop so good, Crayton-san!"*

*:People who have been in Japan will get that joke. But no, that did not really happen ;P

8: Being asked the same questions over and over again. "Where are you from? Do you have a girlfriend? Why not? Why aren't you drinking the tea?" And if drunk: "which of those women* do you want to have?"

*:said well within earshot of the women in question

9: Enduring heat and humidity. I'm from cold, dry Wyoming. I'm not used to rivulets of sweat suddenly soaking me. And my neither-regions itch all the time... is that natural, or did I pick up crabs from a squat-style toilet?!

10:Not having some of the foods you like. Took me forever to find marinara sauce at the grocery store, and it turns out it's in a pouch instead of a jar. BTW, snoopy is on everything here. If you go to the 7-11 (yes, they have one of those in my rural town), you will see snoopy on all the food products.

11: Being too attractive... yeah, that counts as a challenge. I intimidate the girls a little bit, and have to listen to them whisper about me, but they rarely approach me unless they are shoving their friend at me for an introduction.
Except for the junior high girls, who insisted I cook with them when I went camping. Then they insisted on serving me. Then they insisted on doing my dishes... etc.

12: Bugs. Japanese houses don't have many ways to keep out bugs. Or insulation, or proper kitchens... I could go on.

In conclusion these are really minor inconveniences. As the McDonald's commercial here says, "I'mu roving it!" [sic]
--
Now, more pictures! I forgot to take my camera when I went camping with the Junior High, which is a shame cause there were so many cool things going on. Next time...

Tetris is not just a game over here; it's a way of life.

Look at that view. Click to enlarge and breathe it in. I'm dang lucky to be here.

One of the signs it's summer is hanabi, or fireworks. The ones shown here are from the festival we just had. People were dancing, and I had Yakitori... ah, good times.



Another sign it's summer is all the Cicadas. This one has lived out it's one-week life. Every time I get annoyed by the sound, I try to remember this haiku:

Shizukesa ya The tranquility
Iwa ni shimiiru Permeating the rocks
Semi no koe Voices of cicadas

Fire works













Fireworks









Japan is such an open-minded country that apparently you can choose a drink as your life partner.


--
It appears Abe has succumbed to blog depression or something, so I moved her to the dearly departed list. But I added Steph to the land of the living.

Top Five best and worst zombie movies

Anyone that knows me knows I am a zombie aficionado. Dunno why, but I think it has something to do with the first time I played silent hill (I may tell the story that got Abra to hyperventilate/laugh about that later, but I digress...). With my holy powers of video store clerk, I watch many a movie good and bad. Here's the ones to watch out for.

Top Five best zombie movies

1. Shawn of the dead.
Each detail of this movie was well planned and executed. From the opening few seconds you know its a winner.

our intrepid cast

2. Dawn of the Dead, 2004 Remake
This movie's got it all. Zombie babies, Jay Leno Zombie, and Jonny Cash's "When the Man Comes Around" playing over the opening credits.

Isn't it cute when he tries to fit into normal people clothes?

3. Dead Alive
Before he directed lord of the rings, Peter Jackson was a gore goob. And this is the goriest movie I've ever seen. The highlight of the movie is when the hero straps a lawnmower to his chest and enters the fray.

4. Night of the living dead and its remake
How could the world's first zombie movie not make it onto this list? I actually like the remake even better. And guess what? George A. Romero is coming back to create the fourth movie in his infamous series, Land of the Dead.

The world's first cute little dead girl?

5. 28 Days later
Okay, they break the rules from the start, by telling us what caused the zombies, but still, a really good zombie flick. Brits don't have guns, so they have to be a little more creative when dealing with zombies. Come to think of it, liberals cause most of the zombie problem in this movie, starting with releasing infected animals from the research lab. Contrast that with the crazed military men though, and you can see the movie as a political debate. The best part of this movie was its softer, more philosophical side that explored the nature of mankind. A thinking man's zombie movie.


Honorable mentions.
Evil Dead 2 (the best one of the series), and Close Encounters of the spooky kind. Two good movies, with not-quite-zombie monsters in them.

Top Five Worst Zombie Flicks

1. Resident Evil One.
I don't really want to think about this much. It doesn't even have a resolution, just a lead into the sequel...

2. Resident Evil Two.
Besides having every zombie cliche done in a boring way, it also has every action cliche you can think of. Imagine Team America, sans satire. Yes, of coarse, driving a motorcycle through the stained glass window at that exact moment makes perfect sense. No my intelligence doesn't feel insulted in the least, please keep the witty use of the F-word coming my dear. Also sans-resolution.

"Oh, that's valentine. She's a loose cannon, but we like to keep her around cause she's hot."

3. Junk.
The only Japanese zombie movie I know of, and it makes me not want to see another one. From the very beginning we are pumped full of pure cheese until our brain is replaced by gorgonzola. Also, the Japanese don't seem to know the rules... be it of physics, good acting, or what zombies do. The only good part was seeing a Yakuza zombie eat his own guts to prove his machismo.

remember, when going into super saijin zombie mode, your hair turns blond (I wish this was a joke, but its not).

4. Zombies Vs. Vampires.
I haven't even watched this one and I'm putting it on the list. Trust me, I'm clairvoyant about when movies will be bad, as the VanHelsing incident proved.

5. Weekend at Bernies Two
Yeah, they made a sequel to the movie with the most improbable plot ever. Yeah, this time they brought voodoo magic into the story to make Bernie a zombie. But he doesn't move unless he hears those Jamaican beats, mon.

"Respect for the dead? Nah, we'd rather have fun!"

Honorable mention:
House of the Dead, the movie. If the list went to six, this matrix-zombie-busting-moves fest would be on it.


This post is Rated PG-13

Increase my capacity to love
Be not afraid
Find opportunities to give to others
Develop integrity
Thank and complement others

--From a list of goals I made long ago, recently refound.

My list

Everyone's doing it, so I took ten minutes to write the top fifty things to do before I die, in no particular order (mostly).

Robert Anton Wilson feels that half the problems in this world arise when people try to make a mark that will allow them to be effectively immortal by being remembered by others. Guess I'm a problem starter.

There is a lot of overlap in these.

1. Write the great American novel
2. Have a nationally published comic series that wins acclaim in the mainstream literary community
3. Create a character that becomes a household name
4. Help establish a utopia, maybe on mars
4. Become ruler of the world, possibly through the Ted Turner route
5. Get married, preferably to a girl who's language I can't speak, so we discover each other without all that superfluous language junk.
√6. Write a story in the cthulhu mythos.
7. Become fluent in Japanese, then 39 other languages as I'm told humans are capable of learning that many.
8. Have one child of my own, then adopt two more from third-world countries
9. Have an art gallery in New York show my work
10. Teach a child that will become the next great artist
11. Resurrect art, as it is dead
12. Create a world wide phenomenon of a movie that will replace star wars in terms of nerdy fanboy adherents
13. Create a theosophical movement that will facilitate dialogue between faiths, creeds and even nations
√14. Never get fat
15. Be called the Charles Atlas of artists/novelists/comicers like Boris Vallejo.
16. Make a comic series that is so successful, that I can have the Japanese make it into an anime.
17. Learn how to play the guitar in such a way as to impress people around the campfire.
18. Learn how to play three songs on the piano in such a way as to impress people at a five star restaurant.
19. Travel back in time and challenge Bruce Lee to a fight.
20. Adhere to the 4 agreements.
21. Learn to control my anxious nature.
22. Find the balance between being mysterious and being aloof
23. When aliens arrive, I will be the person that gets to greet them in the name of Earth
24. Fight zombies with akimbo barettas
25. Have Jonny Dep lean over to me at a party and say, "Okay, Clay. How do you do it?"
26. Star in a major motion picture that doesn't suck.
27. Learn how to constructively assert myself when I have problems with people.
28. Design and buy a zombie-proof house located in Scotland. Said house will have a very large library.
29. Backpack across... everywhere. This will facilitate goals number 7 and 5.
30. Have an opportunity to have my enemies bow before me, then pass it up. Actually, I'd prefer to not have enemies.
31. Have someone say, upon my leaving, "Aren't you at least gonna kiss her?" Then I will look at the girl and say, "nah."
32. Always get catcalls when I'm wearing my swim trunks.
33. Learn how to wield a katana without being a nerd about it.
√34. Talk with strangers like I did during my first year in college.
35. Inspire someone.
36. Impart wisdom.
37. Never stop learning.
38. Expand my vocabulary to incredible proportions.
39. Sell some modern art to a sucker.
40. Achieve a state of zen in which I can ignore my own suffering given any situation.
41. Create a movie called sober master, in which I fight Jackie Chan at an A.A. meeting.
42. Gain a long-overdue nickname.
43. Watch a caribou wander through the ruins of new York.
44. Do my part to help alternative energy take hold, or at least have a hand in anti-matter's successful harvest and isolation.
45. Create the grand unifying theory in the middle working on a crossword puzzle, almost as an afterthought.
√46. Finish this list.
47. Get frozen in carbonite and reanimated in an age when humans have evolved into forms of pure energy.
48. Find satisfaction, and hand a little to Mick Jagger.
49. Stare a guy down in a bar.
50. Add at least ten words to the English dictionary of my own design.

fifty is not enough, I have so much more to do