May 18, 2006

Top ways to die

Wow, I thought I would write a few, and the list got spontaneously long. Now, lest you think I'm morbid, keep in mind I'm not looking for death. In fact, I'm sure this list will show that only the best and most rare of deaths will do for me. I won't leave until I've gotten some satisfaction. By the way, asking someone how they would die is one of my favorite party games; it reveals someone's character, and a little of what they find interesting or humorous. And if you can convince them to make a list like the top 50 things to do before you die, well... bonus bonding I guess.
Top ways to die:

Whilst kissing at ground zero as a nuke drops. No seriously, that would be a heck of a tingling sensation. Keep your eyes closed.

Running into a crowd of zombies with lit dynamite, to serve as a distraction so the young couple can survive.

Right after giving birth. And you are a man.

While fighting the Russian from Rocky IV.

By having your senses overload by the perfect taste/sight/sensation.

Being so glad and content that you simply go, "Well, it's time," and you close your eyes and you are gone.

In space. In pretty much any situation, as long as your last breath comes while you gaze at the earth from above.

Riding on the back of a nuke. I mean, if you happen to be there anyway. Yeeee ha!

Disgustingly wealthy 80 year old man... 20 year old woman... and their honeymoon. We know the cliche. But I promise it would be better to be a 20 year old man dying of the same cause. The nuke picture works for this one too. Yeeee ha!

Having been part of a duo of galaxy-conquering evil, then becoming good at the last minute and killing your evil boss, then dying in your sons' arms after last minute reconciling. And then you get to be a force ghost, and be all young looking again (it will take 25 years for them to edit that part in, but hey).

As long as I'm mentioning Sci-fi, Leto Atreities II had a pretty cool death, spreading his consciousness throughout Dune as he broke apart into sandtrout.

With a sigh and a smile.

Sword fight. Mortal wound. Beheading the bad guy. Falling to your knees and stopping in that position statuesquely. In that order.

Getting struck by lightning and turning into a rainbow. Wait no, that movie sucked. Frickin' Powder. I want my two dollars for the rental back. Two dollars!

Jumping on a grenade to save your friends.

Whilst wrestling a Tyrannosaurus.

From laughing too much.

From the ultimate suffering. As long as you get to come back and spout ultra-quotable lines. Yeah, we gotta give Jesus props for this one too.

Getting killed by a god. Neil Gaiman's logic: you served the god's purpose and your belief in them is undeniable, so you're guaranteed a place in heaven. Plus, it's pretty novel to be killed by a god in this day and age.

Having a write-off with the zombie of William Shakespeare. He bites you, and you expire, but the judge still declares you the posthumous winner, cause your writing was just that good. Substitute things like "martial-arts contest" and "zombie Bruce Lee" and so on ad infinitum.

Honorable mention from history: I hear Charlemagne died on his throne, but he was so scary looking, no one dared to see if he was just sleeping or not for like three days.

Got some good ways to die? List 'em in the comments before I kill you. I hope I got a spit-take out of someone for the pregnant man one.