I hadn't planned to post on this blog this week, but I just got a rather disturbing email. The contents go as follows:
Hi, I heard a rumor and I've been thinking about what I want to do about it for quite some time now. My first thought is just to ignore it as a rumor but I'm not good at ignoring things so here I am writing an email. I don't know how to set it up nicely so I'll just say it, some mutual friends of ours told me that they found out you are gay. When they told me this information they seemed completely serious as though it wasn't a joke or anything, like they really believed their source for the information. They told me that some guy from the Cheyenne gay community claims to be a former partner of yours. I haven't spoken to this guy directly so I can't verify who it is or what they're supposedly saying or if there even is a guy...
And it goes on about how it's cool if I am gay and all that stuff a friend is supposed to tell you when he wonders.
Well, let this entry be the ultimate authority on the issue: I am NOT gay. In fact, I'm really suprised to hear people even could fathom me being gay. Anyone that knows me knows I was in love with a certain girl (not hard to tell who) for the good part of the last 4 years.
To put it in simple terms, boobies: Yes, please! Man meat: No thanks!
Oddly enough I find myself not mad about this whole thing. I don't even bear ill will against the rumor spreaders or their supposed sources. But I want to set the record straight, in more ways than one.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go listen to Barbra Streisand and paint my toenails.